Asking Help From Sex Therapists

Emma Howard: Hello! We are answering questions on sexual health. I am joined by Dr. Catherine Hood. Hello! Dr. Catherine Hood: Hello! Emma Howard: Catherine, I have a question here from the man who says, “My wife has said that she want just to see a sex therapist.” Does this mean she no longer finds me attractive? And if so, how can a sex therapist help?” He wants to know. Dr. Catherine Hood: Okay, well clearly he doesn't quite know what the problem is and that is the problem. Emma Howard: Yes, and she can't tell him. Dr. Catherine Hood: She can't tell him and maybe that's why she's suggesting to go to a therapist. It can be really, really difficult to talk about sex. In particular, if you are feeling bit dissatisfied or -- and you have been with your partner for a long time. Actually it's harder, sometimes to think you need to experimental, try to get your partner to do things differently to have what's always being done because inferences are not happy. It may not be quite as simple as that. And it usually isn't. So I think the first thing is that, the sex therapist is going to give you a space to talk about how you feel with each other. What your sex life is like? What you like about it? What you dislike about it? And having an independent person, it can help to mediate between -- Emma Howard: Without it get becoming a arouse in a critical way. Dr. Catherine Hood: Yeah, because that's becoming very, very personal. I mean obviously it is a personal issue, that's why we will find it's difficult to talk about. But they can help see, bring the positive sign out of them rather than just getting into an argument. Emma Howard: So you would urge him to go and say it is a good thing. Dr. Catherine Hood: I would go along with the very end of mind and go just be prepared to be honest and this is obviously a very positive step and to try and see it in that way. Lots of people solve the problems with their sex life by going and having sex with somebody else, which never solves the problem. Honestly it can lead to the break time of a marriage. Emma Howard: Time when they need to look in that ways for -- Dr. Catherine Hood: Exactly. I would say, it's great that she is actually wanting to work at this. If there is a problem, that is -- quite a lot of problems are easily solved actually by therapist. Emma Howard: It can be daunting before you start but you think ultimately very rewarding. Dr. Catherine Hood: Yeah, absolutely, and therapist obviously used to hearing these story. They used to hearing difficulties, hearing issues about sex now. So it's not embarrassing for the therapist, although I can understand how difficult it is for the person going into that room. I mean the therapist as well, as well listening can also suggest lot of practical, very simple techniques or exercises that can also help with the certain sexual difficulties, which can overcome various problems as well. Emma Howard: Well thank you for that advice Catherine. If you have a similar problem we hope we might have given you some help, but remember it's always best to go and see your own doctor for medical advice. Thanks for watching. We'll be back with more health questions and answers.