Emma Howard: Hello! We're answering questions on sexual health. I'm joined by Dr. Catherine Hood. Hello!
Dr. Catherine Hood: Hello!
Emma Howard: Catherine, I have a question here from the man who says my wife has said that she wants us to see a sex therapist. Does this mean she no longer finds me attractive and if so, how can a sex therapist help, he wants to know?
Dr. Catherine Hood: Well clearly, he doesn't quite know what the problem is, and that is the problem.
Emma Howard: Yes, and she can't tell him.
Dr. Catherine Hood: She can't tell him and maybe that's why, she is suggesting, they go to a therapist. But it can be really, really difficult to talk about sex in particular if you are feeling a bit dissatisfied and you've been with your partner for a long time.
It actually is harder sometimes to think you need to experiment, to try to get your partner to do things differently to have, as always being done because the inference is you're not happy.
It may not be quite as simple as that, it usually isn't. So, first thing is that the sex therapist is going to give you a space to talk about how you feel with each other, what your sex life is like, what you like about it, what you dislike about it, and having an independent person can help to mediate between --
Emma Howard: Without it get becoming personal in a critical way.
Dr. Catherine Hood: Yeah, without it becoming very, very personal, I mean obviously it is personal issue and that's why we all find it's difficult to talk about. But they can they can help to bring the positive side out of it rather than just getting into arguments
Emma Howard: So, you would urge him to go and say that is a good thing.
Dr. Catherine Hood: I would go along with a very open mind and go, just be prepared to be honest and this is obviously, a positive step and to try and see it in that way. And a lot of people solve the problems with their sex life by going and having sex with somebody else, which never solves the problem. Actually, it can lead to the breakdown of a marriage.
Emma Howard: The time when it's producing other results, yeah.
Dr. Catherine Hood: Exactly! So, I would say, it's great that she is actually wanting to work at this, if there's a problem that is -- and quite a lot of problems are easily solved actually by a therapist.
Emma Howard: It can be daunting before you start, but do you think ultimately very rewarding?
Dr. Catherine Hood: Yeah, absolutely and therapists obviously are used to hearing these story. So they are used to hearing difficulties, hearing issues about sex. So it's not embarrassing for the therapist, although I can understand how difficult it is for the person going into that realm.
I mean the therapist as well as well as listening, can also suggest a lot of practical, very simple techniques or exercises that can also help with certain sexual difficulties which can overcome various problems as well.
Emma Howard: Well, thank you for that advice, Catherine. If you have a similar problem, we hope we might have given you some help but remember, it's always best to go and see your own doctor for medical advice. Thanks for watching, we'll be back with more health questions and answers.
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