Jennifer: Hi! We are back again with our good friend Paul Carlson. He is a Life Coach here in Dallas, Texas, and over the next few videos, we are actually going to try to answer some of your toughest questions in a way that is non-judgmental and just kind of our normal -- how do I want to say it, in a way that only we can do it.
Dan: Yeah, that works.
Jennifer: Okay. This question is from Senzna and I am not sure if I am pronouncing that right, but this question came from our brand new Dating, Love, & Sex Forums. If you haven't checked it out, go to askdanandjennifer.com/forums. We are really excited. It is a great way to get your questions answered, not only by us, but by others as well. I am sorry, I am whacking my mind.
But anyway, this one, is my foot fetish weird? Dear Dan and Jennifer, I have a foot fetish, but I am afraid of what my girlfriend would say if I told her? Is it a weird fetish? What do you think Paul?
Paul Carlson: Yes, stop it, stop it, I am kidding. All fetishes, to people who don't have fetishes are weird.
Jennifer: Or they have a different fetish.
Paul Carlson: Yeah.
Dan: Then, that is abnormal, and yours is weird.
Paul Carlson: And most people have some form of fetish, not all, but many people. Look, fetishes are basically harmless unless they involve pain or hurting your body or hurting someone else's body.
Dan: Okay. So they don't harm us?
Paul Carlson: But, there are all kinds of fetishes. A foot fetish is a fairly common one. I don't understand it, I have never been there, but.
Jennifer: Now, Dan doesn't understand that when you say foot phobia.
Paul Carlson: But, you understand that usually those kinds of fetishes and things have something to do with early childhood. I am talking infants, toddlers that kind of level.
Jennifer: That actually is the breast fetish that most men have, right?
Dan: I prefer not to think about it that way in those terms, thank you.
Jennifer: Okay, back to the foot fetish.
Dan: Yeah, press better but never -- Paul go ahead.
Paul Carlson: Don't behave.
Dan: I don't behave, I don't. It doesn't work for me. Paul, please.
Jennifer: Went right over his head.
Paul Carlson: I know, that's okay, a lot of things go. Anyway, sorry. Quite frankly in terms of expressing this to your girlfriend or your wife or whoever, it's a harmless thing. If they don't understand, let them watch this.
Jennifer: But, you wouldn't walk up to them and go, I have a foot fetish. Can I suck your toe? I mean, you wouldn't go that way, would you?
Dan: Would you do something really creative with you toe or something?
Paul Carlson: Why do you have to talk about it? This is one time I say why do you have to talk about it.
Dan: But you once have to show it with her, right?
Paul Carlson: Well, the point here is let's say that you are lying down and you are just having some fun, and you both have bathed, you're both clean, and you start kissing all over her body, but believe me, she is going to like that, okay? You might even start licking all over her body and unless she is like a clean freak, she is going to like that too.
So what happens, you move down. You are kissing all over, you are licking all over and you just happen to move down to the feet, and it's a very kind of sensitive part of your body, very ticklish, and so you just do it. And either she likes it or she doesn't, if she doesn't, she will let you know, and it may just be that it's not that she doesn't like it. It's just so sensitive, she doesn't know what to do.
Jennifer: It is shocking.
Paul Carlson: But, the thing is she may find it very pleasurable. Now, if you talk about it first, she may say, oh, that's worst.
Jennifer: Can be weird, yeah.
Dan: Yeah. Especially, if you say, "Hey, I have a foot fetish". She may, "Fetish, Oh! Fetishes are bad". Who knows, so back to our approach, just easy sort of slide into.
Paul Carlson: I don't feel comfortable when you say this word.
Jennifer: I told him; don't say those things on camera.
Dan: Oh no, I did! We don't want to talk about that this time in the light bulb, no.
Jennifer: Okay, we have been really all over the charts on this one, but you know what, foot fetishes are not weird, it's perfectly normal. But, don't -- like Paul said, don't just go up to her and talk about it. Just kind of ease into it a little bit, and I think it will go a lot more smoothly.
Paul Carlson: Yeah, because then there is no negative anticipation. Just don't do it quickly, get down there slowly. The slower you are, the better she is going to like it.
Jennifer: For girls like oh, this is a lot of bang.
Paul Carlson: Be sensuous, be tender, be gentle. They love that, so just do that.
Jennifer: I am getting hot on the back.
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