Can a Virgin be into BDSM?

[Music Playing] Jennifer: All right, this question from Barbara in Missouri. Dear Dan and Jennifer: I found a website on YouTube. Cool. Dan: Cool. Jennifer: I think I am into BDSM or there maybe something wrong with me. I believe I am more sadistic than masochistic though I am still a virgin and my boyfriend too. He likes to be clothed and chained. He has not let me do that yet and when I scream in pain because I got hurt or something, he gets a little excited. I have clothed him so bad that I took trunk of skin out of his hip so when he screamed in pain I laughed at him. The idea of burning, whipping, tying down, flogging, brisk, hand cuffing, caging and torturing him sounds fun. Dan: I am sorry, burning? Jennifer: So, someone was done some researchers, something on line, is there something wrong with me? Is it possible for virgin to be in to BDSM like this? Dan: There is a firm no virgin into BDSM role. I mean, there is just that is a pretty well known. Jennifer: You cannot be into BDSM if you are a virgin? Dan: No, you got to have sex three times then you can be into BDSM. [Music Playing] Dan: I am sorry, four times. Jennifer: The only thing that concerned us about this is it seems that you are actually hurting one another and causing damage. Dan: Yes, there is one thing to. Most fetishes including BDSM, the bit sort of the wide spectrum there which is just quite a wide spectrum are mostly at the end of the day mental and they have little to do it sexual experience or whatever you had sex one, two or five times. Jennifer: Yes, it is technically sodomist because it does not have to be sexual, you know it is about pain, giving and receiving. Dan: And they end up with a sexual hurting in some way but yes, the trick is to have fun and enjoy each other some sort of mutually enjoy by activities but that causing you unharmed. As long as you are having fun, nobody is getting hurt, so what? Jennifer: We are not therapist on this okay? If you are concerned about this and that you think that you may have an issue that is out of control or that you feel it is not right, you know I am talking about what your preacher says or what your mother told you or who is judging you, I am not talking about those things. If you really believe that you may have a problem and you are doing something that makes you uncomfortable or it makes your boyfriend uncomfortable, talk to a therapist and work through these things to find out why certain things bring you joy or not. But if you are just talking about analoky to your relationship, there is nothing wrong with that from my prospective. Dan: Yes but be aware who you talk to because if you got your church counsel and you said, you know, I have been thinking about swinging and we think it is a great idea and you may find out that you are going to help more, talk to it objective, third party, that is not trying to push an agenda one way or another. Jennifer: And then, fits in to your believes system okay? We are not trying to change anything with your systems. [Music Playing]