Christian Dating: What the Bible Says About Dating

Terry: Really smart, he’s hot and he likes you, so what could be wrong? Host: Today, on Living the Life. Tim: It was a very small community. Host: Tim Conway shares a God wing from his childhood. Tim: Everybody knew, everything about, everybody else, I cared about everybody else. Host: Plus the importance of keeping your faith in the dating scene and the surprising kids want to get advice for dealing with sexual pure pressure. You, that’s today. Terry: For any girl who restless with trying to keep your faith in the dating world, Stina Wilson tells you how to do that in breaking up his just not that in to God. Stina, welcome, it’s great to have you on Living the Life. Stina: Thank you. Terry: You talk a lot in the book about a relationship that you had in your own life as a young woman, a relationship that really began to get serious, when in high school? Stina: Yeah. Well, I met him in middle school and kind of start having a crush on him. And then in high school, we started seriously dating. Terry: Did you the Lord then? Stina: No, I knew of the Lord. I didn’t know the Lord though so— Terry: It didn’t affect you dating life. Stina: Yeah. So it didn’t affect. I was kind of some partying and all of that stuff. Terry: And you are really serious about this guy, right? Stina: Yeah, we’re really serious. We dated for about four years all through high school. Terry: Do you think you’re going to marry him? Stina: Yeah, of course. Female: Everybody thinks they’re going to marry that first love, but something change and it was another relationship that came along when you were on mission trip to Philippines, isn’t that right? Stina: Yes. Female: Where you found a deeper love? Stina: Yeah. Female: Tell me about it. Stina: I have always heard about God and also thought, “Well, I just meet God when I die or prayed at night” or something like that but I happened to go on a mission trip which was actually kind of funny because I wasn’t technically really a Christian. But I was going on a mission trip and that’s where the Lord really met me and showed me that he is not someone that I’m just going to meet when I died but he wants to be on my life now and he wants to do things in my heart and he has a purpose and a plan for me so that just totally changed in my life. Terry: What did you boy friend think of that? Stina: He was like, “Well, that good for you but it’s not good for me.” So, it just started this huge tension between us and I wanted to read bible together and go to church and I was just dragging him along. So it just created a huge tension between us. Louise: How long did you dragging him? Stina: Probably almost a year something like that, so yeah. I’d say, “Please come to church with me.” And he’d be like, “Fine.” Terry: But that was probably a good thing that it went that along because it kind of give you an idea of what your life would be like if he didn’t never come around, right? Stina: Yeah. And this is kind of how I started writing the book was, I was journaling through it, just like, “God, how do I do this?” You know just praying like, “What do I do?” I don’t understand what is unequally oak to me and I was a new believer, how do hold on to my faith and my boy friend at the same time? Female: Well, let’s talk about that because the Bible says don’t be unequally yolk which means don’t be unbalance, don’t be with some who doesn’t share your beliefs as a Christian. Why does that matter for a little girl who’s out there, maybe middle school or high school going, “But, I really love it and he’s so sweet too.” Why is it important? Stina: It so important because when you become a Christian, it changes everything from how you view people of how you view your life, from how you’re going to raise your kids. And I wanted to be a ministry and just all the different areas of our life but the Bible the talks about being unequally yolk and how—in the old days, they would use oxen in the field and if one was stronger than older, one weaker than the other then where one will go to the right then they would ed up going in circles and not getting any work done. And I believe that God has the huge purpose in our lives and if we’re not working together towards what Christ calls to do than it’s going to cause so much attention. Your focus is going to be end up on your boy friend. Terry: You also talked about—because I think so many women say, “When I’m just with him all the time, he’ll change or I can be the influence that bring us person to Christ due to a great illustration in the book about standing on top of the people, share that. Stina: I was in on mission trip and I kept sneaking out to call my boy friend. And my leader who was really strict, she is like she caught me and it was pretty strict on the rules. So she gets me up on the table and she found me on the phone and she said, “Come here.” So she got me up on the table and I was standing there and she said, “Now, you pull me up.” And so I’m on the table pulling up and going, “What am I doing?” And she’s like, “Pull me.” And I’m like, “I can’t” because she’s pulling down. And then she’s like, “You now get on the ground and I’m going to pull you.” And like one tag I was back on the ground. And she said, “This is how a relationship is if you’re going to date someone who doesn’t believe.” I just broke down in tears because I knew it my spirit but I just didn’t want to face it. Female: So you came back from the mission’s trip and you have to make a decision and a really hard decision to break it off with this boy that you love. So how are you able to do that? Stina: It was not easy. It was—I just came to him and I just told him, I said, “I found this relationship with God. It’s changed my life and it’s real and I wish that you know it too but I know that you don’t and I’m sorry but it’s time to break it off.” Louise: When you broke it up, did you break it clean break or you— Stina: Not exactly. I recommend in the book that you do, do a clean breaks I learned from my mistakes that it jut drags it on. So— Louise: How about those girls who say, “Well, that’s great for you but I don’t find someone these Christian guys attractive, so— Stina: Yeah. No, I totally hear that I understand that after I broke up with him, I kept finding all of these really great non-Christian guys and I’m just like wanting to hit the book over my head and just feel like, “What am I thinking?” I think all women are attracted to a certain type of God. And a lot of the characteristics were attracted are a non-Christian guys because they’re confident, they’re out there for success, all these things. And so what I would say is really ask yourself, what are you really attracted too in this person that’s going to last. And there are great Christian guys out there, sometimes they’re hard to find. And no offense, I know there’s really great ones out there but I have some funny stories in my book about Christian guys that I’ve met that are little bit, you know— Female: And you started dating, you’re dating a Christian guy now. You tell young women, “Don’t look back and look ahead to find who you are, who you are in God.” What would you say to that girl who’s watching you right now? Stina: Well, I took a two-year sabbatical from dating and just spent time with the Lord and just with single hearted. And that is so important because I believe that it can change—it can actually save your future marriage when you find out who you are in Christ. And you gained that confidence and you believe that you’re beautiful even if you don’t feel beautiful because the Lord says you’re beautiful and you find that purpose and the gifts and the talents that God has given you, then you start to really understand what you deserve and what you want. Louise: This is a terrific book. But any young women, trying to make sense of the dating world, you’ve got to get this. It’s called Breaking Up. He’s just not that into God my Stina Wilson. Look for book stores or go to livingforlife.com. Thank you, this is such great information just love that. Thank you so much. And how about getting breaking up, he’s just not that into God by Stina Wilson. Isn’t this great? I mean every young girl and I think they should be given this to all the girls in junior high school. It’s interesting because I was in a marriage for 20 years and I have accepted the Lord year after I got married. And let me tell you, that is a struggle. I don’t care what you think, oh you can change them. All who can change him is God and if they were not ready to come up to the plate, you need to move on. Once I was married, I didn’t have a choose— Terry: A young person to have seen that and then obedient to move on. It is really awesome. It’s great for your girls to get hold of it. Let us know how you feel about the show. We’d love to hear from you. Email as at—