Hi, this is Dr. Philip Agrios from LifesOneLaw.com. Today’s question from a viewer’s states, how can I avoid being hurt by someone’s criticism? Unless, you are living in an unconditional living community where there are no critics, then we have a problem because you are looking outside of your self where you have no control over anyone. The only person you have control over is your self. So, let us look at this for a second.
I want to give you an example of Buddha. It is a great story. He was sitting in the fields one day doing his thing, minding his own business and this guy comes up when he was just start fooling into them for about fifteen minutes. Buddha is just sitting there, listening to the guy but after fifteen minutes, Buddha says to him, “Are you done?” He says. “Sure.”
Let me ask you a question, if you give me a gift and I will accept it, whose gift is it? The guy thought for a little bit and said, “Well it will be my gift.” And Buddha said, “The gift you just gave me I will not accept it. So, therefore, it is yours.”
What a great charismatic technique that was. Think about this Buddha did not allow that man to affect him whether or not he tried to make him angry, sad or even happy. You have only control over your self. So, anybody who tries to criticize you, first of all, critics are just insecure people that have nothing better to do than look at your life because the last thing you want to do is look at their lives. They have plenty of things to criticize with themselves that is why they criticize you because we are just an extension of ourselves.
So, the people around us are there in order for us to say, “This person is criticizing me, I am really, really getting upset.” So, what part are they saying that I am reacting to and you are reacting to that one part because you believe it is true. How do you deal with this? Sit back and really see. Is this happening in my personal life? Is this happening in my business life? Is this happening in other areas? Is it happening 20% of the time? Either way, that person is there to help you see that there is something there you need to really deal with because it is not really sitting well with you.
So, instead of looking at that person getting angry then welcome and thank him for that criticism whether how good or bad and then approach him and say, “How do you think I should be a better person or whatever you are criticizing in that I just take or get your answer.” You do not have to take it to heart, just listen to them and then ask the same question to your self. Put it together and see what is the real situation.
So, again you can avoid anybody’s criticism unless you are in some type of community that is loving always to you. So, my suggestion is focus on your self. Love your self and once you are able to love your self those criticisms will not affect you. I hope that will help.
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