Hi this is Francisco Buija VitalCouching.com, we are talking about getting success for woman and the topic for this video is getting a divorce man. What should I know? This is another question that was posted to my channel and thanks for asking, it is a good one actually.
Are there any pit falls, anything that you should be carefully about? Is there something that you should know about getting a divorced man?
Can you just relate to them exactly as you would relate to anybody else? Well, my first answer to that is yes of course. I think that some labels are really diminishing. They are not something that is by getting the person to that full extent. Finding somebody who is divorced is not like a disease or something to be scared or afraid of. People are functioning and there is a big fraction of people on this planet are divorced so you know it is just a one thing that happens in life and there is nothing to be afraid off.
So, the label thing usually I try to stick around away from me to be closer. I think it is too reducing for somebody. But now with that said, there are few things that are certain patterns or certain things that you have to understand about a divorced guy and that thing is very important to point them out.
The first things, it is that for a divorced man, sometimes his ex is still going to be around whether they have kids together or if you just gone divorced and his ex is still going to be learning or pressure arise if they are still into a chord fiber, this kind of things. Sometimes this means that that this guy is going to have some form of unsolved business there which is going to polarize this image here or his power. And, you have to know about it for one reason is because you do not want to get involved in that battle, okay.
That is one very important element this is not your life, it is his life, it is his job to solve that. So, if you see somebody still dealing away with this kind issues, you can be that person that seemed to be do not get involved into their problems, why? Because, if you get involved you are going to try to invest your self emotionally to that of trying to help them solve that faster when in fact you have a very little power, okay.
He might have given you a window but far from helping him a little bit but basically you most of the time you do not have really control of what goes on. You have control over the choice that he makes this kind of things. So, let him fight his battle but do not get involved into it too much, of course a couple conversations might be enough.
But even that, when you are in a date with him stick to talking for which have to do with the two of you rather than his past and if he starts talking about his ex too much just tell him. You know you say “Look we are having a nice date here today, why don’t we focus on what we share” rather than invoking the past and things that you are frustrated about.
If you feel that you need a therapy to have somebody to talk about, a professional, if there is somebody you would like to talk about this thing, simply go and see a specialist. See somebody who is a professional who can help you with that. Right now, I am your lover, I am your date, and it does not help us to talk about this over and over again.
I really appreciate you I think we have something great but let us go and see the real ex, one of the topic is off topic when we are together. Okay, that might sound a bit harsh right you might think, well, can you say something like that to a guy? Yes, you can. He will respect you more if you actually know what you want, and then you know that talking about his ex is not something that you enjoy.
So, he will solve these issues by himself and eventually come up toward at base with you and share and maybe good at sex and enjoy really your presence without having to come up with stuffed problems which are unsolved so this is one thing.
Another event which is important is that a man, who has been divorced, is he already went to a marriage. He is not anymore in to this kind of romantic night states that you are when you are 15 or 20 in that kind of age where you dream about marriage as we really this is called and real enough possibly it is in beauty.
Okay, if he has been married and divorced, he already understands that. There is what we call this permanent feeling of marriage and it is really not as permanent as he thought it was. So, it is part of the romantic dream that it collapsed and this you have understand as well so I will not push too much for marriage at this stage either. Okay, there is more to say about this but that is all for now. Take care and enjoy. Goodbye.
Transcription by:
Scribe4you Transcription Services