Dealing with Cot Death

My first daughter was called Mazie and she was born in the February in 2000 and she died of cot death when she was ten weeks. We've been out for dinner and I go back about midnight and I fed her down here and I've never done this before and I just have to believe that I was meant to be with her when she died because I put to down beside me on the sofa and I felt asleep and I woke up about three hours later and she was dead.

In some ways, it would to felt better if that she would be in her cot or if -- the fact that she was on the side here beside me, mattered a lot to me to begin with but at least I was with her. And she - in that respect I knew she was dead that moment I saw her but I didn't -- I kind of didn't register that I picked up and she was stiff and I run upstairs, my husband and called the ambulance and they sort of gave us resuscitation advice, well as my husband did that and I was just -- I mean as you can imagine, I am sure just, I sort of screaming I think and an ambulance came here, we got to the ambulance and I think all of that was done - yeah it was sort of rushed in emergency and sirens and Mazie was taken straight often to his room to be tried to get resuscitate but she'd been dead for a long time. And then you are left with specially if you don't have any other child at that time, just with incredible sort of void of nothing.


Transcription by: Scribe4you Transcription Services