Fearful Girlfriend Stops Orgasm

[Music Playing] Jennifer: Hi, this question is from Sarah in Canterbury, New Zealand. Dear Dan and Jennifer, I have a question that I am embarrassed asking. I have had a series of bad boyfriends, hateful, hurtful relationship oh it is sad Dan: That sucks. Jennifer: The times I had sex with them I never got any pleasure and I never had an orgasm. I have read that you lost control during orgasm. I do not wish to. I have a new boyfriend. He is so sweet and caring and he cares about making me happy and giving me pleasure but I cannot bring myself to let him make me come. I always stop him the minute it starts to feel good. I know he is hurt. What can I do to make myself orgasm and how do I stop myself from stopping. What does it feel like? I am a little confused. [Music Playing] Dan: It feels really, really good and you do not want to be stopping. Okay, seriously, orgasm is about letting go right? Jennifer: It is not about losing control and it is a very, very different perspective on a very similar concept. Jennifer: Yes, so yes it is not necessarily about letting control and it is not about your current boyfriends. It sound like he is the right one for you because you know, I do not know your history and I do not what you have been through but you obviously have some deep emotional wounds when it comes to sex and trusting men. I mean it is definitely and I think that is where the issues lies. There is a trust issue with letting him take you that far because it is kind of a giving in. It is not losing control but it is a letting go so yes, I mean are too sense on this one is go see a therapist. I know… Dan: A sex therapist not just a regular therapist. Jennifer: I going to disagree with you on that. I think someone to help you cure your emotional… Dan: You are right because your problems are really emotional. Jennifer: Yes. Dan: Which is from those relationships. Jennifer: So fix your emotional wounds and that will fix your sexual problem probably. Dan: Yes.