Jennifer: Hey, this question is from Stan in Ohio.
Dear Dan and Jennifer,
I have seen your videos on YouTube, and I have enjoyed learning new things and love that you are so willing to share your knowledge or at least willing to share.
I have been seeing this girl for a little while now and things are great. We are very comfortable and physically compatible in bed, but I have not finished inside of her yet. She wants me too, but so far, she insists on using a condom. And I cannot climax with the dawn, it is getting frustrating.
The part that really bothers me is that, our relationship is suffering because of it. I want to understand why she wants to use a condom when she is already on the pill. I am not looking for unprotected sex, what can I do to save our sex life?
Dan: Hold up! Sex without a condom is by definition, more or less, unprotected sex. There is this concept about layered defense on anything that you are talking about and certainly with, you know, if he goes unprotected, he is not going to be carrying a baby she is. That is what I am saying. She is trying to be really, really cautious. She is being on the pills, she is using extra protection, and she wants to know that this is super duper safe.
Jennifer: She is not ready for babies. That is what it comes down to
Dan: Or whatever else, you know, STDs or whatever else may happen.
Jennifer: Yes, we cannot tell you why she is in insisting that you wear a condom but the thing that—as a guy that you have to respect is it her choice. You want to put it in there, you got to do what she wants you to. So, if she wants you to wear on condom then you need to wear a condom. So as to why you cannot have orgasm with the condom on, is a whole another story.
Dan: And maybe that would be a very good question to focus on. Because you are sort of taking this as a given—well I can orgasm with the condom, so there.
Jennifer: Yes, cause even if you do not the next girl is probably going to want you to wear a condom too. I mean, women are being responsible these days.
Dan: So literally, do not just take that as a given that it cannot happen, consider why and see about finding solution to that whether it is a medical solution, go see a doctor.
Jennifer: Emotional solution.
Dan: Yes, it could very well be a mental hang up for whatever reason. One time, it just did not work and you associate that in your mind, that is hard and fast fact that it just cannot happen. So maybe, it would serve you to do away to do with that preconception.
Jennifer: Yes! So, try some different condoms, maybe, do not put so much pressure on yourself, it is okay. You know, just enjoy and enjoy the journey or relax.
Yes, so try different things. Try to figure out why it is that you cannot do with the condom and focus on that issue.
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