Host: How important is it to have your finances in order before taking the plunge?
Toni Coleman: It's really important. Having finances that are real problem are impacting on your life is going to interfere with any kind of relationship. It's not only going to create problems for the person while they are dating but you then bring those issues into a more committed relationship and certainly into marriage. It becomes the other person's worry, the other person's debt.
So it's very important to have your finances in order at least in the sense that if you have got debts, if you have got college debt, education debts if you have got a mortgage if you are paying child support, depending on the person's circumstances there can be a whole lot of things there that they can be carrying or not too many at all, but the way that they handle those debts. The way that they budget, where are they with their credit card stuff, are their debts becoming such an issue there is an impact in being able to do anything social or is the other person that you are going to be dating, going to be expected to always pick up the checks. These are all going to get in the way of growing a relationship and being in a healthy relationship.
It's very often said that money is the main reason that people fight. I am not so sure that that's true, but I do know that money is a symptomatic. How people spend money, how they deal with it? If they are honest about it, how well are they able to really together and make sacrifices? These are symptomatic of how healthy the relationship is in general. So money is a big deal that being said, people are going to end the relationships when they have a certain amount of debt from things in their life, that are all good and important things. And it's again how they handle it, and how they bring that into the relationship. It's going to matter.
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