Jennifer: Hey guys! Dan and Jennifer back here with our good friend, Paul Carlson sharing words of wisdom. If you guys haven’t seen any of Paul’s other videos, make sure to check back because you will learn something, I guarantee it even if you think you know everything already. And as always, thank you for the great comments you guys leave. We want to know what you think so make sure to leave a comment, rate the video, one star to five star, you know, we prefer five stars but we want your feedback.
Dan: But to just keep it easy and simple, five star is keeping us simple, right? Less to think about. Five stars, subscribe, we’re all set.
Paul: Works for me.
Dan: Now leave a comment and get stuff.
Jennifer: Yeah! And be nice, okay, don’t attack each other. Okay, let’s be nice.
Dan: Constructive, something nice to say, right there.
Jennifer: Okay, ready? This has something to do with communication issues. Speaking of being nice, this one’s a little different though. My significant other has recently asked me to think about adding in another person to our sex life, it’s the all threesome thing.
Dan: Threesome.
Jennifer: You think, but its not.
Dan: Its just sounds like a threesome.
Jennifer: Our sex life is our only sporadic at best. I don’t see adding another person in our future any time soon. I told him that he has to show some interest in me first to make sure I’m securing the relationship before bringing in a third person. I think you will both agree. And I’d like to find some ideas on how to approach him on these subjects in a manner where he doesn’t get defensive and blow up and then we can’t talk about it at all. I think we need to start with the fundamentals first and then add the fun stuff later. Please help me.
Dan: Every guy’s fantasy.
Jennifer: Well, have you talked to a guy about sex because you know guys egos gets so bruised if you have been remotely hint that they are not doing it perfectly. And you know, he’s wanting to bring in a third person but she says their sex life is sporadic already. Have you talked about this stuff?
Dan: What you are thinking, our sex life sucks. What are you thinking, I’m bringing another person, what's wrong with you?
Jennifer: We never have sex, you want to bring somebody else in?
Dan: And which point is going, “Ah, help.”
Jennifer: It is wrong, really quickly. Suggestions Paul.
Dan: How does she bring this up?
Paul: Well, if he is bringing it up and she says that their sex life is already sporadic, maybe he figures out it’s the only way he’ll get some.
Jennifer: He’s trying to get some.
Dan: You know, on the other hand we did another video about threesomes in terms of a therapy and the thing is that threesomes are okay for some people but for the vast majority of people, they’re not spiritually or emotionally mature enough to be able to handle that. They have enough trouble just working between the two of them and adding somebody else—
Dan: I can’t believe you’re looking at that girl, that kind of stuff. If you have this kind of jealousy issues, most people do.
Paul: And so maybe the way around that is to introduce it a—instead of introducing a different person into your sex life which could really complicate matters, you introduce a new way of doing it in role playing. Now for her if she has not been very interested in sex lately, what would interest? What kinds of shows does she like to watch on TV which she get off to meeting a strange attorney in a bar, if so, you role play. The guy comes in with a nice suit on, meets her in a bar and they pretend like they’re strangers and he pretends like he is an attorney and she pretends like she is a secretary or something like that and he tries picking her up and after dinner and drinks and stuff they go back to a hotel or a motel instead of home. And they role play or it might be that what turns her on is a construction worker.
Jennifer: Or being arrested by an abrasive police officer, nothing personal there of course.
Paul: But the point here is that you can’t introduce this freshness into your sexual relationship by just doing a simple thing like role playing. It doesn’t have to be done at your home, if money is tight, you do it at home. But there’s all different kinds of parts that you can play. And sometimes it might just be dressing a little bit different. Sometimes it might be going to a costume shop and renting a costume but you agree in advance that you’re going to pretend and the dialogue and everything as if this was real.
Jennifer: Oh, a simple one, you know, the little mask, the little Mardi Gras mask, there is something about being with someone who’s wearing a mask, because its like a hidden identity. Its just a simple and cheap one. It’s not expensive.
Dan: Someone with a secret identity.
Jennifer: Yes, secret identity.
Paul: And another one too would be if she wants to really feel challenge that you could have her at a certain time that she would agree to be in the bedroom laying in there on the bed naked with a total mask on where she cannot see. And he just comes in and he slams the door but she could say something like, you know, “Phil, is that you?” And there is no answer.
Dan: Who may need to take a break?
Paul: He comes in and maybe he has an ostrich feather that he very gently tickles her body with and he talks in a different voice like, “If you remove that mask, I’m going to stop.”
Dan: Okay!
Paul: No, look, you can get—you can be very creative with this, okay.
Dan: And we have gotten a lot of ideas to work with here.
Jennifer: Well, and the fact that he is talking about a threesome kind of thing, maybe he would like to see her in a different role.
Dan: Exactly. But what's really great is that Paul brings up a great point though because a lot of people are just—they have sex and you know, just basic simple—
Jennifer: Missionary, in the dark, eyes closed.
Dan: Mechanical, clinical sex. That’s it. Which can be great fun, lovely.
Jennifer: For a while.
Dan: But you know, some of you—this is a very different, out of the box idea like a threesome.
Paul: You got to feed the creativity in the fantasy. I mean, why do we watch all these movies on television and in the theatre with this half naked people that are—look, the guys look Adonises and the women look like they are a playboy, why do we do that? It’s a fantasy.
Jennifer: Yeah, we’re living by curiously.
Paul: Women read all this romance novels and look at the covers on those things.
Jennifer: Girl porn.
Dan: Girl porn.
Paul: With these guys with the six packs and you know, its—
Jennifer: Where’s my picture?
Dan: And those are the same girls that can play my guy watches porn, I’m going to go read my romance novel, girl porn.
Paul: Look, this point here is fantasy.
Jennifer: Get creative.
Paul: So, feed that fantasy and see if that sparks up your sex life, you may find that all of a sudden, you’re having enough sex because it’s something different and it’s safe. You don’t have to worry about STD’s or any of that kind of that kind of thing. You don’t have to worry about any kind of relationship dynamic because you're already in the relationship. So give it a try, see if it works.
Dan: Out of the box stuff.
Jennifer: Okay, but I have one more thing on the threesome. Sometimes just talking about it and entertaining the idea can spice up your sex life without ever even going through with it, talking about it, talking about other girls with their partner and just—the whole idea a lot of times is better than even the real thing.
Dan: But again, out of the box. Just think of different things you can do to enhance the—so the creative stuff, the fantasy around your sex life and because it can all just be mechanical.
Jennifer: Oh, and this is a big one, this is a perfect opportunity to leave a comment. Give us your ideas. What are some tricks that you used to spice up your sex life? How do you bring that spark back? We want to know.
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