Jennifer: This question is from Emma of UK.
Dear Dan and Jennifer, I am 26 and my partner is 46. We have been together on and off for three years. I’m only his only second relationship and he says that he I stirred clear from relationships because he does not want children. He doesn’t like them and despises the fact that he would be financially responsible for the next 18 years. I currently have a five year old son and he gets on great with him so I cannot understand why he doesn’t want his own? This is always been okay until I found out that I’m six weeks pregnant. He wants me to choose between him and the baby and he said that I cannot have both. I want this child. Do you think a man would change his mind once this child is here? Surely we’ll have some kind of feelings, won’t he? Or am I faced with being a single parent?
Dan: It was such a tough spot.
Jennifer: Tough spot.
Dan: Oh! boy, I mean, he was honest and straight up by his feelings at the beginning and it is a tough situation, you are changing the rules. He was very straight about what he expected in a relationship and you are making a very big gamble here in changing the roles.
Jennifer: Yes, I agree. Now, having said that, it is your choice to your baby. The only thing that you got to be prepared, from my perspective, the only reason for a woman to ever have a baby is because she wants it. You cannot expect the man to change his mind or if he is, you know, to be a good dad. I mean, anything could happen so have always got to be prepared. If you have a baby, you run the risk of being a single parent for whatever reason.
And also, the other big question that came to my mind when I read this is that, if you do have the baby, there is a real high likelihood that he is actually going to bond with the new baby more than your current son and then what kind of jealousy does that create. So think it through, ask all the questions and I wish I had better advise to give you but it also means like this has to be your decision.
Dan: Yes.
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