Jennifer And this question is from Sandy in Los Vegas.
Dear Dan and Jennifer,
My husband wants to start swinging. We get so many swinging questions every day. It is amazing. I would like to also, but I was a virgin when we met at 15 years old and now I am 37 years and the thought of being with another man, seems so weird and scary. How do I get passed my nerves and fears?
Wow! I am impressed. They have been together for 17 years. That is really great. That is a good deal. I guess my sent as a woman, make sure you are doing it for the right reasons cause I notice in the question; you said that, “my husband wants to start swinging.” So make sure something you want to do too.
Dan But she say, “Yes, I want to do it too.”
Jennifer But I want to do it too. So, just make sure that it is something that you really, really want.
Dan And then, just take the first step slowly. You know ______ (00:01:18) and see what happens. Here is just try the water and see how it works for you slow.
Take the first step; go to a couple of swing or clubs in your area and just watch. These are not high pressure places by any means.
Jennifer Or surf the internet in great web sites like adult friend finder, something like that or you can just browse and just FY. If you go to one of these clubs, you do not have to do anything okay.
You can sit there and watch. People are perfectly okay with that.
Dan Yes, just go and watch and get the feel for what the couples are like, what they are behaving like, what the dynamics are, you just got to feel for it. Cannot say this enough, take it very, very slowly and just see what feels right for both of you.
Jennifer Yes, and if you ever fell uncomfortable with the way it is going, tell your husband immediately, okay. What people do is usually touches this girl or something then I did not like it.
But you know, we are in a public situation and I do not feel comfortable saying anything to him. So what happens, I go home, I start brew ding, I start worrying, I get mad at it and before he knows it, I am furious but then he has no idea of what he did.
Dan Not to mention you know, you start disliking the beginning and not telling him what it is collides to. You do not like it, tip in about right there.
Jennifer Right there, you know. Just say something politely, whispering to your husband or whatever it is anytime. If it is uncomfortable, talk about it.
Dan And you do not have to say, right. It just makes me uncomfortable.
Jennifer Yes, it is not that he is doing something wrong or she is doing something wrong, this makes me feel uncomfortable.
Dan Not right or wrong, it makes me feel uncomfortable. That is the point there.
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