How Not to Feel Like A Spectator During Sex

Jennifer: Okay this is the third and final questions in the Scarlet trilogy? Dan: The third part of the Scarlet trilogy. Jennifer: It may not be the final one, we will see. Dan: Not the third one. Jennifer: Right. But basically if you’re a member of scarlet that was raised as pastor’s daughter, grew up not talking about sex, not being comfortable about it and just simply wasn’t talked about in a house— Dan: No sex in. Jennifer: She is married now and there are problems surprisingly. Dan: On the sexual front. Jennifer: Yes so— Dan: Because there’s no sex in? Jennifer: This is a good one, basically she wants to know how she can better talk to, now, this is her boyfriend, I thought earlier she was married maybe I just made a ‘typo,’ that’s okay. But regardless she wants to talk to her partner about what she likes in bed. But, it says, I want to but I do not know how because I do not masturbate. I feel like a spectator during sex. I find it hard to relax and I do not think I ever had an orgasm and— Dan: I know we’re just talking about this. Jennifer: Yes, we did, it was kind of carryover from question number two. Basically, and this is kind of might sense in that. The only way you are ever not going to feel like a spectator is to get into the game. Dan: Dive in? Jennifer: Yes, play the game, right. That is the only way. Dan: Before you can tell him what you like, you have to know what you like, after the experience. Jennifer: Sorry, okay I will talk about that one. If you do not masturbate—okay all the guys are driving now, Dan: I’m listening. Jennifer: He has full attention now, but basically, how can you expected to talk to him about what you like if you do not know? And you know masturbation is not the only thing there, okay, that is the physical aspect of it. But whether you do it by yourself or with him you have to figure out what you like. Try reading some erotic ad find out, you know, what kind of scene you get too excited because you may actually like that or— Dan: You’re maybe surprised what you actually like and what you don’t. Jennifer: Yes, I mean watching something on television, a video or whatever. Dan: Like all the porn questions we get. Jennifer: Yes. Prefer but not guy porn, okay, find some good girl porn Dan: Why are you pointing on me, I don’t like hell, I watched girl porn. Jennifer: You’re a guy, aren’t you? Dan: I am not going there. Jennifer: The two senses on that, is that sex is something that it has to be experienced. You can read about it, you can talk to your counselor and you can talk to whoever you want, but until you are actually get in there and play the game, you do not know what you like . So you just have to do it and figure it out, is it, in some way— Dan: You know, that’s all you can do. You can just dive in and do it. Jennifer: Yes, I mean, I cannot tell you—step one do this, step two do that, step three do that because you may not like that too, right? Dan: That word, the whole two damn point and to be able to talk about it in public but that is a different video. I’m really not going onto it.