How do I get her back? - FOR MEN

Hi! This is Francisco Bujan from vitalcoaching.com and we are talking about break ups for men and for women. I mean the principles of the things that I am going to say here cannot be applied to both. The topic of this video is “How can I get her back? I mean this is just incredible because I have been coaching guys on now more than five years on this topic and this is the question which keeps on coming in and coming. When you break up, you have this very strong desire of getting back together with EX. Now, will keep it in repeating that over and over again because that is the only thing that I can say and I think it is very important for you to hear that. In 95% of the cases, again, getting back together does not work. It does not work because the reasons that it lead to your break up are still there most of the times. If a girl, we would like going to take the situation where you are men and the girl did break up with you or your wife. You know, if you are divorcing. When she breaks up with you, she has a reasons for breaking up and most of the times it involves either getting bored, saturated or simply, yeah, going beyond really the relationship she is in with you. And the she breaks up, she decides to take to get her freedom back and when she does that, she has reasons for that. It is that simply the space of the relationship became truly making for her and she wants to have for new relationships, new territory. So, when you go back to her, everything that you bring into the picture reminds her of the reasons she broke up with you in the first place. So, that is one reason. Another reason is there are certain of your behaviors that she did not like. For instance, you might have been too possessive or too demanding, too controlling, too jealous, all this attitudes where emitting her as well. Another things is that she simple meet somebody else that she might be in a new relationship right now. So, you have all these possibilities, all these reasons why should we accept in. Most of the times when you go back into her life, you know. For instance, you give her a cord and you say, you know what I really miss what we use to have is there a way we can reconnect with each other. Most of the times, what she is going to remember is the fact that it was a reason why should break up and this reason is still there. So, it is a deal break up that is the first thing to realize and to remember. While deal breaker still there, it is very hard to do, you know, to come back to her, into her life and do something about it. Now, in some isolated cases, in these 5% of the case that I mention. Sometimes two people, two persons are going to be ready to give it another try because they took a break and then, they both, both persons who realize that; “Hey, there is a chance here. Why do not we give it another try” and that is, yeah, that is true. That is a possibility that something that can happen. But the desire are very rare isolated situations and yes, it can work; yes, it can be successful. If you have two persons work committed to make it work. They understand what were the challenges of there relationship and they decide to do something about it and get back together. So, when you are, you know, in this zone, this brick of zone, you have two ways to go. One of them is to be stacked, on the parts focus on your Ex, wanting to get back together with her and the other attitude is too focus on the future and realize that you have a world of possibilities ahead of you and that is good to go and enjoy it. So, my advice of one of my experience and because I have been coaching dozens of guys on this topic. My advice is focus on the future. The more you stay stacked on the past, you know, the more difficult it is to move into the future. One of the key reasons why guys stay in this break up zone for long, long, long period of time, you know, it can go in months or even years it is because they do not want to let go of the past. They do not want to let go of their girlfriend and therefore, they stay stunned. They try to gain back control or something which is out of there hands and therefore, it create this kind of painful situation where you stay in the break up zone. So, what is just describe, you know, towards for men towards is for women but the same way to work around. If you are a woman and your boyfriend did break up with you, you are exactly the same type of dynamics and you cannot apply exactly the same strategy what I described. Focus on the future. Focus on reconnecting with new men or new dating situations. Now, there is a program on my site it is called how to get your power back after he break up or she breaks up for the problem for men. I encourage you to go and get it really. This is packed with strategies, power, it is an ego, kids audios, it is advices, articles, and forum. So, go and get it. It is all there on vitalcoaching.com. You take care for now and have a great day. Bye, bye.