Male Speaker: Hi viewers, welcome to the first Being Dad blog. Today Tom, we are going to start helping the girls out to make their men better birth partners and better dads, and I think we should go all the way back to the very start and perhaps help out those girls who are trying to get pregnant.
Tom: Yup, okay. So how do we get pregnant?
Male Speaker: Well, I think one of the biggest misconceptions about conception is that having babies is fun, and you have been through it and you are going through it, and as you know, it's all about the pressure, and sometimes the girls can get a little bit over anxious about getting pregnant and as a result can scare the guys also. Let's have a look at our stairway to conception.
Tom: Romance gone, systemization in.
Male Speaker: Correct! So this is about bringing the fun and the sport back into the bedroom, taking the mindset off actually getting pregnant.
Tom: Yup.
Male Speaker: Let's have a look at our stairway to conception.
Tom: So what have you put together here?
Male Speaker: Well, ten tips, ten key tips to help the mums and the girls. Let's start, number one. I think it's very important that you understand that as a guy, we have spent our entire lives trying not to get women pregnant.
Tom: Correct!
Male Speaker: Now, let's say a man is 30, he has been out there for 15 years, playing the field --
Tom: Chipping around, meeting one girl possibly after the other; we are assuming we are talking about straight guys here. The number one thing that they don't want to do when they are meeting new girls is get them pregnant.
Male Speaker: Well, it's difficult to pregnant a man, so we are not talking about that either. But the point is here, he has spent his whole life trying not to get girls pregnant and now we are asking him to inseminate us. So this is a very fundamental change in the man's hard wiring and it's sort of like asking a cat to bark. So I think it's just a very valid point girls to remember that this is not going to come naturally to him.
Tom: Yeah, exactly right. A lot of the dads that we spoke to during the collection of our DVDs, Being Dad DVDs, this was an issue that they face, that it was a seismic mental shift for them to move from a recreational point of view to a very specific point of view in terms of their sex life.
Male Speaker: Okay. Point two, we will try and keep it short and sharp. Point two is, make sure he is really ready. By that, a lot of guys, off the cuff, they will get to a point in their relationship and they will say, yeah, yeah, I am ready to have kids. But I think what you need to do is, hit your man with some hardcore facts and numbers and points like schools; where we are going to send our kids to school, and we need to get our will sorted. Some of these things which probably he hasn't really thought about, and you really need to see what color his face turns when you start talking about that. If it goes a nasty shade of green, then perhaps you need to spend a little bit more time talking about it to make sure he is really ready, because if he is not, you are in trouble.
Tom: The key here is talk.
Male Speaker: Correct! Point three. I think this is the biggest one that all girls fail at, without question, and that is, for some reason women think that we want to know when you are ovulating. The reality is we really don't. It comes back to that precious situation we are talking about a little bit before. If you get a text message or a phone call from your wife saying, you got to get home tonight because tonight is the night I am ovulating, it's a little bit like the football coach ringing you up, unexpected and saying, you weren't picked in the team, it's the Pro Bowl final tonight and you are on the starting team.
Tom: It is an absolute no, no, ladies, an absolute no, no. There is no bigger turnoff for a fellow to have to think about that sort of stuff when they are in the process of making love.
Male Speaker: So let's concentrate on the month. We are obviously trying to get pregnant, but let's not tell him what day we are ovulating, let's just try and have as much fun in the bedroom as we can obviously. You know what the key dates are, and you can really sort of build up to them, but let's not let him know.
Tom: I agree, absolutely.
Male Speaker: Good that we are agreeing on that. Point three, let's be realistic girls, for a lot of us, they are -- for a lot pf people, it takes a long time to get pregnant, and we all go into it hoping that we are going to get pregnant quite quickly, like the Spice Girls who seem to --
Tom: On a weekly basis, which is very true. We found, after talking to a lot of dads in the Being Dad DVDs that, the guys were surprised as to how long the process actually took to normally get their partners pregnant. In very few cases, there were a very small number of dads that found out that once they started having the conversation with their wives and partners to have kids, they got pregnant very quickly. But the vast majority of dads that we have spoken to, it's taken a lot longer than they thought. That's something that you need to think about and manage as well.
Male Speaker: From a man's point of view, when we say that, yeah, okay, let's have kids, we are not actually putting any time pressure on it, and guys don't really care whether it happens this month or next month or the month after, we understand that as women, once you decide to have a kid, you want it yesterday. But he doesn't, and the more pressure you put on by getting upset every month that you --
Tom: The more it's going to slow the process down.
Male Speaker: The more it's going to freak him out. So girls, give yourself a time, and try not to -- as I say, it's all about the pressure.
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