How to Date

Female: We get to the heart of the matter with tips on finding love. Kateryna Spiwak: Dating isn’t easy and if anyone knows that, it's me. Female: Dating and relationship coach Kateryna Spiwak gives us some tips on tackling from the opposite sex. Kateryna Spiwak: Three things women can do to improve their dating success are work on their attitude to improve their body language and to improve your conversations skills. When a woman goes out socially it's important for her to think of herself as an interesting attractive person, somebody that’s going to attract men to her. Play with the hair, flick it back from the face, play with their earrings, play with their necklace and all those things say to the guy that she’s interested in talking to her. Some of the ways that a woman can start a conversation with the guy are to use comments or compliments or questions. Female: So are you a musician. Male: No, I'm a hockey player. Female: Hockey players like that kind of guy. Kateryna Spiwak: It's flattering to a guy because she’s showing some interest in. definitely the internet is one of the best ways to meet people this days, there some sites out there like match.com, American Singles, date.ca, love of life, plenty of fish, ever come that people try number of different sites to see what's works best for them. Go out as often as you can, focus on getting to know as many people as possible eventually doing a great boost up. Female: I think I can get a good pair of shoes in the room. Kateryna Spiwak: Exactly, so you’ve got to scan the environment if you identify a target then you start to establish interest that would be the second stage. So either with the eye contact, prolonged eye contact, looking back a few times to make he notices you, smile. Female: How long do you hold the eye contact? Female: Yes, it's a good one. Kateryna Spiwak: Well, first time is a couple of seconds you know, you’d look over at the person like I'm looking at you now then you look away and then you look back. Female: That was very going. Female: Do it to her. Female: Okay, do it to me, do it to me. Kateryna Spiwak: Okay what you need to do because men quite often don’t pick up onto lot of signals you need to use as many as possible. Female: And so you use cards. Kateryna Spiwak: Yeah, absolutely. Female: Look at me. Kateryna Spiwak: Absolutely, frank pen over the head. You need to use your body language, you're facial expressions, your tone of voice soft and then lower your tone of voice. Female: Oh, lower tones. Kateryna Spiwak: Soft as you're talking, exactly. Female: That’s not going to work for high pitch salad over here. Female: Yeah, you got of issue. Kateryna Spiwak: Yes, and number of different things. You want to start with the eye contact and the smiles. You want to get into gazing, you want to tilt your head, you want to play with your hair and that’s a big one. Female: Why is it hair is so big. Kateryna Spiwak: I don’t know, I don’t know I mean you can ask you know the guys but seeing— Female: There are a lot of boys here were going to asked them all here. Kateryna Spiwak: Exactly, the seemed to able to pick up on that. The playing with the hair you knows its close in your neck. Female: Oh, so the neck is here. Female: Look at me. Kateryna Spiwak: You're definitely now flirting, right now as long as you don’t have any hikes from last night attractions and that’s a good thing. Female: So that’s why you ware a turtle neck. Kateryna Spiwak: No, anyway so you do is exposing your neck because it’s suggested that you're willing to be vulnerable to him. And it could also suggest that you want to be kissed. Female: Just like Dracula. Kateryna Spiwak: Yeah, that’s right. Female: So it's like the exposure. Kateryna Spiwak: It's a big range in the zone. Female: I knew that. Kateryna Spiwak: So you're becoming sexual by doing that and also with your body language and your posture. Sitting up straighter or standing straighter and that’s it sticking them out girl. I would say. So there is no reason to think that you're not the subject of gossip when you're not there and certain type of people tend to gossip. I find that they maybe bored, they maybe looking for attention, they may have nothing better to do and it's that sense of power they feel that that control over other people. they can exclude people, include people, it's all about social status and things like that. Female: And sometime people feel that gossiping would just make them feel like part of the group. Kateryna Spiwak: Yes, absolutely because if they have information is power. Female: Right. Kateryna Spiwak: So if they have that information and they feel that sense of power because they can wilt it over other people. Female: Even if the information is wrong. Kateryna Spiwak: Yes, yes, so if they don’t have accurate information and then make up rumors in order to have something to pass on and hold something over somebody else. We tend of fix it and speaking as women myself and I know I fixed on certain things like hair. We can relax and stop worrying about things like that because men are not going to pay it as much to our, our make up and our hair as we think they will. He’s going to see her figure but then he’s going to be back on her face, it's going to be paying attention to her personality. Her smile, looking through her eyes, her body language, whether she’s into a space, maybe touching him, how is she, what's she’s conveying to him and what energy she’s conveying to him. Male: And then it was time to meet our expert a dating coach. Female: Oh. Kateryna Spiwak: Brings those hands up on the table towards Bruce where it says that you're interested in talking to him and that your expressing words towards him. I decided to do a bit of role playing with Bruce and Wanda. Male: Nothing. Female: Nothing. Male: No movies. Female: No movies. Kateryna Spiwak: Okay, why don’t we stop right there. Yes or no are definite conversation killers and that’s what Wanda was doing with Bruce. So you may not have seen any movies recently, so you say something like “No, I haven’t seen any movies but I've gone out and done this”. With 15 years without a date for you I think it's time to change that, were going to do something about that. Female: You are. Kateryna Spiwak: Were going to set you up on a blind date. Female: A blind date. Male: All right. Kateryna Spiwak: Yeah, Wanda hasn’t dated in 15 years it's a bit of a challenge but she’s got a lot going for her including her great personality. Shy it was, inconfindence, lack in self assurance it's was closing in themselves and showing that they're closing in and it was a conventional and it was prune down. It was difficult for him to meet me in the eye contact but when he approached her indicated that he expected to be a rejected, which has turned her off right away within the first ten seconds she was, “No I don’t want to talk to you” and I continually build enough for. And you could do that with mirroring bible that, so if she moves towards you and you want to move towards her, if she picks up a glass and she sat “Pick up you glass and sit with me”. Male: Okay. Kateryna Spiwak: Because I'm interested in you and you’re important. Okay, well if I were interested in Jonathan I wanted him to approach me. I might sort of touch him, I might, “Can I touch your knee.” Male: Okay. Kateryna Spiwak: I might touch his knee and I might just start getting a little bit more comfortable with him and you know maybe it like sexual touching. Male: So if you let your date take the lead in you kind of near. Kateryna Spiwak: This is a vulnerable area here. Male: Yeah. Kateryna Spiwak: It's closing in on the zone. So by touching his knee I'm sending him a clearer signal that I'm starting to feel more attracted to him. Male: And you're not even closing on it, you're right on it you know what I mean.