The Clingy Toddler
Kimberley Clayton Blaine: Mummy Holly asks, "My 26 month old has been extremely clinging lately, he cries every time I leave the room, even to take a shower. I am not sure if it's because of his age or a new baby." This is a normal behavior for a toddler and you are correct to make a connection that the presence of your new baby maybe the culprit.
Children under 3 years of age are gaining independence and practicing separation from mommy. However, while they are more adventurous, they may become even more needy emotionally. It's a simple concept for you as an adult to understand but a scary one for your child. You will find the more things you need to do for yourself like brush your teeth, cook, or be on the phone, the more your toddler will cling.
He senses your independence and the possibility that you won't return. Whether you are just going to the bathroom or actually going to the market, he still feels the emotional jolt the same. Now that you have a new baby, he probably feels your shift in energy and then kicks into high gear with the clingingness.
Here are some things you can do to help him through this phase. Be sure he has a love or attachment objects like a Blankie or stuffed animal to sooth themselves in your absence. Prepare him in advance that you will be leaving his side, telling 10 minutes in advance of taking your shower. Let him know he can play with special toys, while you are showering. Empathize when he cries or shows fears by saying, "It's hard for you, when mommy is busy.", "You just want to be with me, I love you too."
Sometimes all it takes is for mom to stop what she is doing and give a loving hug or read a book. Make him your little helper, while attending to your baby. Get help, it would be great if you had a friend, family member or sitter come to assist you. Join a play group or set up regular play dates with children who are similar in age. Toddlers need to play with their peers, it's an essential part of teaching socialization.
There is nothing you can do to prevent this natural development of phase. Most toddlers find it distressing to be separated from the things and people that they love. Although, it looks like your child is miserable during your absence, there is no actual harm to your child. Look at this as an opportunity to bond.
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