How to Effectively Talk with Your Coaches

John Casey: We had higher viewed shows; but I don't know, that we have that more commented on show. And the show we did about, how to talk to your child's coach if you have a problem? Well that day we talk to a league administrator, today we are going to talk to an actual coach, and get their opinion. So, it will be quite interesting, so stay tuned to ClubHouseGAS. We are lucky enough to be joined again by friend Brent McGuire. Brent, thank you so much for joining us. Brent McGuire: Thank you Casey. John Casey: I want to talk to you little bit today about a show that we just did, we had a huge response. I mean, I just, I am still surprised by the response we got. Most of that was from League Administrators. And the show was about, How to talk to your child's coach if you have a problem. There is something that I do that, you disagree with. And you as a High school, successful High school baseball coach, I would like to hear from you, your opinion on that. So I have got a kid who plays for you, and you have done something. I don't know what it is, it doesn't really matter, but I am not happy about. And let's say I am furious. Where do I go from taking my anger and to making it something productive? Brent McGuire: Unfortunately this happens a lot. In all arenas of sports, whether it's in Little League High School, College and beyond, it's just part of the territory they have deal with sometimes. It's the most uncomfortable thing happen though, but it's just part of it and I think there is several keys to been able to mutually come together to solve a problem, if there is one. Number one is, as a coach on day one after the team has been selected, I am going to have a parent meeting, with my group of parents. And by doing that I am laying the groundwork and the framework for them. And hopefully they will be respectful of that, and within that parent meeting, I am going to address the situation where if a player needs to talk to me, I am -- have that Open Door policy, yes we will do that. However, I am going to ask that let's not talk, before a baseball game or softball game, and let's not talk in middle and afterwards. It's too emotional. I have been in a tough ball game; the parent has been on the other side of fence, maybe a little unhappy because his or her daughter is not playing, so it's just not a real good time to talk, right. So what I would recommend is, the next day have the parent email or phone call the coach and just say, coach, do you have a little bit of time or we can talk, and more then 90% of time a head coach is going to say absolutely, we will be glad to talk to you about, whatever the situation might be. I think by then, there is a little cooling off time, we will more of, in an adult situation where we were, control the environment. We will be able to talk about whatever the problem is and work it out hopefully John Casey: And you could do that without the child being present, as opposed to doing it at the ball field in front of their child and everyone else's. Brent McGuire: You can make an ugly scene say if you were to be confronted by a parent perhaps, during or right after a ball game, when everybody is still little heated. So the recommendation is let's, let it little cool off for about 24 hours and we will talk tomorrow. John Casey: I was lucky enough have parent who abided by, as I say the 24 hour rule, when they were upset, and I have bear really even knew, that my parents were upset about something but -- I played with a bunch of kids, whose parents were just get bent out of shape, and they would yell and raise cane, and I use to be embarrassed for my friend. I use to think man, I am so glad that my parent doesn't act this way in front of my friends, and it was extremely embarrassing. So you have waited 24 hour, you made a phone call to set up an appointment. Brent McGuire: Right. John Casey: How do you approach the coach? In what manner do you -- how do you address your issue to make sure that it's not complicational and you get something positive accomplished? Brent McGuire: Well from a parent standpoint if I were approaching a coach - as I mentioned I give them a call and we just set up a time when I come to his office and visit, and I would just say to him, Coach, whatever situation is, I just like to address it with you. If it's playing time, which usually is the number one request of a parent is why is my son or daughter not playing? Well then we are going to talk about, the reasons as to why they are not playing or as much. Keep it in mind that, coaches are with players 15 hours a week on the field and we were seeing, what they are doing day in and day out. We have a pretty good gauge on what's going on with them in comparison to other players that they are maybe competing against at that position. So I can bring that forward to that parent, and just kind of lay it out as to the reason why they are maybe not playing that much. Generally that's the number one topic as to why a parent would like to talk to you as a head coach. John Casey: Do you find that the child has a better perspective than the parent most of the time on what's going on? Brent McGuire: I think parents should discuss it with their child prior to the parent coming to meet with the coach. A lot of times there's a communication gap between the player and the parents. But if those two talk about it that evening before the meeting, and maybe they get on the same page, now things might be resolve a little quicker, if needed. John Casey: Do you sit down with your players who let's say -- you know you are caring 15 ball players and you have got a -- you know two secretary and fielders who don't play a lot and a secretary in outfield who doesn't play a lot. You sit down with those guys or girls and say, you know this is the reason that you are not starting and these are the things that you can do to get better and get yourself in the starting lineup and this is the plan we are going put you on, is that something that you do as a coach? Brent McGuire: Absolutely, you want to be in good communication terms with all the players. If not that's when you have a lot of dissension, and a lot of clicks that might form on a team. So periodically, we are going to meet with our players. We are going to meet with them at the beginning of the season, and kind of give them a perception of where they are in terms of our vision for them playing. Are they a starter? Are they going to be a backup? Are they a role player? We are going to kind of let them know, what we see for them at the beginning of the season. Now we are also telling them, hey, if you are a second stringer you go and compete for that job and you push that first stringer as hard as you can, to win out and become the first string ball player. So we will use that as a motivation tactic too and it works a lot of times. And then periodically throughout the season we will meet with the players individually, let them know where they stand, are they making progress, are they declining a little bit, are they going to be playing a lot, or they are just going to be a role player primarily? So the key is communicating with your ball player, letting them know where they stand. John Casey: And I think that's the key statement. Even in the workplace, it's important for you with your boss to know where you stand, and if you know where you stand on a ball team on in the workplace or even in your family. It helps you, developing to your role and then push you -- if you don't like that role, take it out and I think a lot of times with ball players, they get into their minds. Well I am just to say different ball players just the way I am and no one bothers to sit down and say, if you could do A, B, and C, that's not going to be your role anymore. You can move on to this level, I think it, probably help you, and have a better team. Brent McGuire: Absolutely. John Casey: And have them coach for that unit. Brent McGuire: Absolutely. John Casey: Well a lot of great things. We appreciated it as always Brent McGuire, ask you to do it for us today. I hope you got something out of today's episode. You want to comment on it, go to our message boards, and let us know what you think. I would be more than happy to have a conversation with you there. We will see you right back here tomorrow, on a brand new ClubHouseGAS.