How to Embrace Change

Cristina: Well, it’s Friday and its time for what matters most and our life coach Dieter Pauwels here. How are you doing? Dieter Pauwels: I'm doing great how are you? Cristina: I'm fine. You know, the unemployment rates came on today and there's just a slight a little bit better than anticipated but still hovering around 10% and so there are so many people that are having trouble that are struggling that feel like there are no answers for them. For instance yesterday Dieter there was a job fair for the River City Casino. Thousands of people were there and looking for work or trying to supplement a part time job or they're just afraid of losing their job. So my question to you how can people juggle their lives and tackle all of these uncertainties with unemployment just hovering over them and they feel like it will never change? Dieter Pauwels: That’s the paragraph of change Cristina. One hand, if you seek certainty in your lives. On the other hand we are dealing with uncertainty or challenges. When we are faced with adversity and challenge I believe that for me it’s like a call to action. We are called to do something obviously and these people are going to this job fairs, they're obviously answering the call because they believe in something better. They believed in new possibilities. And we all face to make decisions. I mean we have to stay kind of in the channel because every situation is different. But if you think about it we all face to make decisions and the most resourceful state to make a decision is when you feel good about yourself and the way you feel about yourself depends on what you focus on. So I would tell people that mind yourself what you focus on, where you put your attention because that will influence how you feel about yourself and that will obviously determine the decisions that you make. Cristina: But while you're going through a personal crisis? The emotions are painful they are not positive emotions. So what about that? Dieter Pauwels: By working with people will go to transitions what I found is that obviously the emotions leading up to that experience or emotions like fear, anxiety, anger, frustration yet the beautiful thing is that the gift that we sometimes feel to embrace in the moment is what happens after those experiences. What we see afterwards people have different kinds of whole emotions is maybe a sense of freedom, a better self-confidence, believe in oneself, believe in their own capabilities, so if we take perspective it’s always wonderful if we can embrace the gift of change in the moment but that’s the hard thing to do. Cristina: Yeah, it’s a difficult thing to do because pretty much you’re saying adversity in your life something that extremely having a difficult to get through is actually something that can be extremely you worry later on. Dieter Pauwels: If we look at the experience in hindsight most of the time people say, “Well, I learned something significant about myself” so my message is for those people is that find that one thing that you can learn about yourself that is significant enough so it can improve yourself, you know, build yourself-esteem and go and believe in possibilities but the possibilities are out there, the opportunities are out there. Cristina: Right and it’s scary and finally, you know, fear that is the biggest enemy for self confidence, right? Dieter Pauwels: Fear yeah, I would say mind your focus again. Focus on the things that you again can control which is your thoughts, your behavior and your actions. The other things we have no direct control over. Cristina: Okay. I love what Eleanor Roosevelt said. She said that everybody should do something everyday but scares them and that says everyday he comes in here and she's afraid this guy behind the camera. But it is one way to embrace change. And Dieter we’ll see you next Friday. As usual it’s great to see you again. Dieter Pauwels: I look forward to it.