Hi! Welcome to another episode of “How to with Adam Goldhamer.
Today’s episode is on “How to Facebook”. For those of you who do not know what Facebook is. You live under a rock.
Facebook is a social utility that connects you with the people around you. Bullshit. Facebook is a way your selling yourself. It is a way that keep up bitches. It is a way to make yourself out familiar with your friends and it is a way to make yourself the hardest shit in the world and you can do this. anyone of you can do this. Even you fucking ugly people at home. You can do this if you follow my advice.
Let me tell you a little bit of my Facebook history. You see, I only had Facebook for less than a month. Then, you maybe asking why are you Adam Goldhamer qualified to tell me how to do Facebook and let me tell you something. I am a natural. I am a Jedi at Facebook.
I have 52 photos, 262 friends, 123 wall posts in less than month and think about where do you where after a month. You probably had like what 14 friends, 10 wall posts, 20 pictures. I have probably had more of most of those things than you have now and you have Facebook a year.
Let me tell you why there is a strategy to a Facebook. Facebook is a game. The most important thing about Facebook hence, Facebook is the picture. There are different types of people on Facebook. They are people who change to in frequently and people who change there picture too frequently. The key to the pictures is changing it just the right amount.
You do not want to change it everyday or every week, like where some fuckers do because they are fucking idiots. Nobody is going to check your profile when you change your pictures. They see like; Oh, we got them. He is changing his picture again. Who the fuck cares? Or if he never change his picture, people would not look at your profile.
My strategy is I would say, I do it ones a month, on the rare occasion I will change it more than. But let us start what might have chose has been and I will show you why I have done that.
So, this year is my first picture at Facebook and I have to say; I am fucking genius, this is a brilliant thing to do. In this picture, I am taking a shot on my birthday with one of my really good friends.
What is this show? First of all I am the party animal. You can get comments in your wall like Wow! Men, you are a fucking hard. It is a good nature because I am with a friend, it shows that I do you have friends. A friend is a good looking guy.
In this picture, one of the problems with it, it does not really show my face. Now, if you are ugly person, use pictures that do not show your face because you do not want people to know that your ugly.
Another thing that you can do when your ugly is you use black and white pictures, you know. In that way, it is really hard to tell if you are good looking or not. If they are in black or white, a lot of people looked better in black or white pictures.
If you are a good person like me, using a picture that does not show your face could be a problem. You know, people might think; Oh! This is an ugly person. These pictures in color. It does not show my full face but that is okay because it is my first picture. I am going to use more.
My next picture is a completely new angle. You made me shot absolutely uphold even about what picture I chose. Now, is this picture a gay? Yes! It is a gay picture. Fine! I will put that out there. But there is nothing more straight than being comfortable with the fact that you are gay. Okay.
In this picture, I mean, from point position. I am wearing wig and a tiara. What is this say? I am comfortable with my sexuality. Yes, bitches love that shit. Oh, this is a picture of me in a play, okay. It shows that I am actor. Actors are sensitive. You know, bitches will just fucking fall into your lap.
I think I am adorable in this picture. People just want to eat me up. I am going to show you a few wall posts now of what have people said about this picture. “You look so pretty in your picture.” Alright. “I want you tiara.” “Wow! Why did you become so beautiful.” And this is the kicker. “Your display picture maybe the hottest thing I have ever seen!”
With this pictures, this is one of the exceptions to the rule, okay. Remember, I said do not change it more than once a month. This could be a problem with this picture. With this side of picture, the one that could be gay, it is gay.
First, if you leave it for too long, it becomes gay. You know, people starts to question: Oh, at first I thought this was a joke? But he left his picture for a month now. He must really identified with this girl which means he is gay. You cannot have that. There is nothing worse than people think you are a gay. Right?
So, I change my angle entirely. My new picture, brilliant as I am, is this one. What is great about this picture? I have the adorable angle. It is me with a little child, bitches do not love anything more than little children, and this is a cute child and I am with a friend.
So, I got the cute factor, got the friend factor and I have to say it is pretty fucking good looking picture of me. Pretty fucking sexy in it and if you think I am, then you can go fuck yourself.
Transcription by:
Scribe4you Transcription Services