Hi! Welcome to another episode of How To with Adam Goldhamer
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Today’s episode is on how to facebook. There is a little myth on face book that you cannot request friends. You can only let your friends request you.
Bullshit!
What is facebook without requesting friends? But, those people have a good point. You do not want to just request anyone. You want to bet I would say 2 to 3 girl the guy ratio in terms you good friends. So, when people progrose your friends, they know that you are a fucking PIMP, a mother-fucking PIMP.
You can request girls at anytime, good looking or not because most of the time people would not be able to see what their actual profiles like. They will just see that little picture and most people know how to make themselves look good.
Look at this, something is out on my face book (Beep) as added you as a friend. I have no fucking clue who that is.
These are fucking great!
Oh god, who is this? Who the fuck are you? And then, you are ugly,
Decline! (Laughs)
When you request guy friends, you only want to request guys that are good looking. That shows that you, yourself are good looking okay?
Wall Posts
You want your wall, just like your friends to be 2 to 3 girl to guy ratio, and you want those girls to just writing on the wall about how good looking you are, how funny you are, etc, etc.
You do not want your wall to be post, people responding to your post, because what is that say? It says that you spend too much time on facebook because facebook is a joke, but it is so serious. It is so serious.
You need to make it look like you are taking it like a joke, okay?
I know you spend 12 to 15 hours on facebook a day?!
I see at you at home, looking through all people’s profiles, masturbating tell the girls his pictures, that is fine. You do that shit. But, do not let people know that you are doing it.
That is the number one rule of facebook; do not let people know that you live on facebook.
For guys, the best thing to do is to write a really embarrassing story on the guy’s wall, something that really did not happened, because it is hilarious. Here is one,
LLL! Yeah men, she definitely deserves it. Next time, just take off your ring if you are going to hit her.
I wrote down on my friend as well. That is pure money, because people are now going to look at his wall and think he actually hit a girl. And, people who know me are just going to think I am really funny.
It brings down his alpha male status, brings up mine, nothing better.
Let us find another one.
Do no worry about it man, next time just wake me up before you leave. Adam.
This is on the male’s wall. It is gay, but is straight. It is so gay that it is straight. And, it is quick, it is to the point. Makes him look bad, makes you look.
Now girls, it is whole different story. You need to facebook flirt.
Because really hard girl who are worked at camp, 2 years ago, requesting my friendship on facebook. It is great! That is green on me you know, when you open up your facebook. You see how the friend request and its this girl who you always thought was really hot and she is requesting your friendship. Means she is being thinking about you. She took the time to type in your name to find if you are there.
What do you do in this situation?
Obviously, we have to do is wall post. No private messages, that is too quick. That is like trying to feel her up before the first date.
So, with your wall post message, you could go for the typical one.
Hey, how are you? It been year, I miss you. How is school?
All these questions are bullshit questions. You do not care about the answer, she knows you do not care about the answer and it is teedee so never get anywhere.
So what do you do? You start with a joke.
So, this girl works on the camp. She worked in the jewelry section. So I went write to a joke. I did not say Hi or Hello, just played it off like you know, I am smooth because I am.
And I said, can you make me (tat-tat-tat) a necklace with green and gray beads? Thanks. Oh, and make sure it has its class!
Brilliant!
It reminds her of how we know each other. It is a joke! Makes me look funny, it is adorable. And, in underneath I wrote, you are still pretty, pretty, okay?
I cultiment her in a joking way, facebook is a joke! But, it is so serious.
Now, get this. She sends me back a post.
Oh, you remember my jewelry skills. Oh, you are just as adorable. How are you?
Let take a moment to reflect on that because (Laughs) that is amazing! (Laughs)
So, what do I do in this situation? I could wall post her back, but I do not know. I did that before. I make seem too anxious to get back to her. I could poke her.
Wrong! Definitely wrong! Do not poke her! That would be like blowing your load! Poking is like (Finger Snaps) coming. You do it too soon, that is horrible. You do it too late, the girl is already board. You got to do it just to the right time.
I have only had facebook for a month, I never poked anyone. If you only have facebook for a month, you never should not poke everyone okay?
You got the plant the seeds, and let them grow. And when it grows into a full blown beautiful tree, you fuck that shit with the fucking poke!
You just seat your finger right in there! Okay?! Because that with the poke is for.
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