Natalie Butler: You know I get really tired of making all these videos about telling you how to feel better, and already you know if you are listening. So today I am making a really important video with the top 14 things you need to do feel like crap, so pay attention, listen up, and see how many of these things you do on a day-to-day basis.
Moderation is for sissies, so make sure you are either excessive or don't do anything at all. So if you want to feel bad, either be an erected or compulsively overly, nothing in the middle. If you are going to play the video games, make sure you play all night long and don't get any sleep. Now with alcohol, make sure you down one bottle and open another one right after that. So in order to feel like crap, make sure that you go to extremes.
Now avoid sunlight at all cost and I mean it all cost. You need to keep your blankets closing your house. Stay in dimly lit rooms. Fresh air and natural environment are absolutely something you can not do. Now the sunlight is the primary source of vitamin D, so that's why you are trying to avoid it in all cost.
Isolate yourself. Human contact can actually have a positive benefit on how you feel, so avoid people at all costs. Now in the rare circumstances that you do have to interact with people, choose those people who are the most destructive, self centered, conceded and arrogant people. People about the middle and make fun of you and others, don't be the people you're going to choose. Now you may have known people in your life that have a lot of ongoing life problems, those are the kind of people we are talking about and members of hate groups make really great friends if you wanted to feel like crap.
Watch as much TV as possible while aborting any educational material. You want to watch programs that are filled with as much violence, sex, drama, and human misery as possible. Completely avoid the history and discovery channels unless it's about war. Now the recommended programs include Jerry Springer, The Evening News, Cops, and all reality TV.
Spend as much time on the Internet as possible. It is the information aid, so believe it or not, there are actually educational materials out there that must be avoided at all cost. Your time is best spend on the Internet by viewing pornography, playing video games excessively, watching hate videos, and watching videos filled with human misery, bad news, views, and violence. In other words, if it's not naked, courting, or dying, it's probably not worth watching. Make sure to subscribe to the most foul mouth on Youtube.
Avoid all living things as much as possible. That's supposed to give and receive affection so that has to be avoided. Having plants and pets around actually might fool people and they are thinking that you care, so none of that. Now it's okay to pull the wings off a street butterfly, but don't you dare but ignore anything that's cute, cuddly or affectionate. Now if you absolute must have a pet, try a pet rock or a spider or a snake, you can see the life features too. The best part of it, you throw that spider to your little sister, scare them daily, and have a really good blast.
Avoid all efforts and physical activity as much as possible. In order for your body to work correctly, you actually have to use it, so be a sedentary as possible. Park in the handicap space, so you don't have to walk actually 20 feet into the store. Never use stairs, always use the elevators. The activities that I recommend are going to be while you are sitting and lying down, which include watching a lot of TV and surfing the Internet.
Don't ever do anything creative or productive. Happy people are always been productive and making things, and hobbies for people who don't have anything good to do, like watching TV, watching mindless Youtube videos, and this is definitely extend into your work life. If you aren't able to collect unemployment, make sure that you get paid for sitting on your bed and doing nothing.
Never, and I mean never get enough sleep. People always feel so much better and robust, so if you want to feel depressed, irritable, anxious, rundown, stressed out, a lack of sleep is definitely the way to go. Now you can actually go insane by a lack of sleep, and because of this nuisance, extreme irritability and all manners of psychiatric symptoms. So make sure to stay up all night long.
Now this is really important. Eat as much processed food as possible. Try to eat fast food every single meal. Boxed dinner, snake cakes, hot dogs, potato chips, these are really good choices. These foods are jam pack of calories and they are completely devoid of the nutrients that your body needs to function properly. Not only will it make you feel like crap, they will make you that.
Avoid eating anything that grows in the ground. Fresh fruits and colorful vegetables actually have nutrients in them that can make your body function properly. People who eat fresh fruits and vegetables everyday actually have energy and feel good, so don't eat them.
Don't ever drink any water. Quench your thirst with drinks that are overloaded with sugar, caffeine, and alcohol. Recommended drinks include soft drinks, coffee, sweet tea, beer, and tequila. Caffeine and alcohol can actually dehydrate your body and overtoxicate your liver and water is required for nutrients to be absorbed. So if you avoid water at all cost, you are ensuring that you get the least amount of benefit if you accidentally eat anything healthy.
So if you want to feel crap, be sure to do things said to you, and if you're doing most of them, you are probably depressed. So you are the best sure about depression and make sure that you would seek out your doctor and tell them about you sometimes and irritability and regular sleep powders, not enjoying your hobbies, friends, family, or the leisure activities anymore, having trouble managing your diabetes, hyper tension, or other chronic illnesses, nagging aches and pains, they are just are problems, headaches or back aches, the aches and pains like join a muscle pains, chest pains, dizziness, trouble concentrating and making some poor decisions.
So go to your doctor and ask if the newest, latest antidepressant is right for you. Remember, if you eat like crap, you will feel like crap. See you next time.
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