[Music Playing]
AskDanAndJennifer.com
Your Questions Answered on Dating, Relationships, Love and Sex!
Today’s Question:
How Can I Get Over My Shyness and Ask a Girl Out?
Jennifer: Dear Dan and Jennifer: There is a girl I love but I am shy to even talk to her and I want to ask her out but I really do not know how.
[Music Playing]
What If She Says No?
Jennifer: So, well we get this question a lot.
Dan: Yes.
Jennifer: The only reason anyone in the world is shy is fear of rejection. Okay, we are afraid that the other person is going to disapproved of us and say no. But I mean the one thing you have to realize before you can ever think about you overcome in shyness that you are okay, just the way you are, okay? What anyone else says or does cannot make that decision about you being okay. Okay, you know in the inside that you are okay, how do you are.
Dan: And, the moment you embrace that you are not going to be shy or afraid to approach people anymore and that is such a huge point.
Jennifer: Yes. So, basically just talk to her. She would not bite.
Dan: Unless you really, really lucky.
Jennifer: Who? Yes dear.
Dan: Okay, now seriously. Oh, when that is serious. Whatever you do, do not go up to her. You know, all—so, many people say they do not know how you feel. Okay, this it leads to one of the—it is a source to wonder stupidest strategies ever. Whatever you do, do not go up to this girl and say, “Gee. Hi, I am Joe and I really, really like you.” You know, because in the back of her mind she going to be seen big light flash. “Oh, weirdo alert, weirdo alert, run” You know, seriously, this not a good approach strategy. Because you are making her choose on the spot, how she is going to respond to you. She has to sight without know yet a damn thing about you. She has to give you an answer whether or not she want to go out with you.
Jennifer: The fastest way to get a “No”.
Dan: Fastest and Noblest guaranteed, you know, like claim the lottery type numbers, really, really bad strategy. So, you know, give her a chance to get to know you.
Jennifer: Yes.
Dan: You know at a normal approach. Like pretend she is a real person. She is actually yes. And get to know her, say hi, you know ask going to help you with something.
Jennifer: He is famous for that. Can you help me with this? It works everytime, okay? The girls fall all over in poor helpless boy in need of assistance.
Dan: I have to think it help a lot.
Jennifer: So, but basically, okay. Are not you sensed it is okay if she says no, okay. You can even try doing things to practice getting knows. Ask people stupid questions that you know they are going to say no to. And, just get used to it. It is okay. If she no, you are not going to dissolve into infinity, okay. You are still going to be there, you are still be the same wonderful person that you are.
Dan: Okay. You can do it just perfect. Any given time a girl that standing in a club, in a bar or whatever, or girl that is any on that chair and having a drink could whatever. At least have the time she will not be interested having a guy walk up to her.
Jennifer: Any guy, not just you. Any guy.
Dan: She may like girls, really. She maybe with the guy she actually likes. She may you have—
Jennifer: Maybe lost her job, maybe just broken up. There is a million reason why she wants nothing to do with you or anybody else.
Dan: So, just accept that it is okay. And, she may say no, and she may not be interested and it may not be interested and it may not be that you are bad guy.
Jennifer: Yes, it mean it is absolutely nothing to it to you so, you know, like my grandma always said, there is lot of fish in the see. So, keep fishing, and the right one will stay on the hook.
Dan: Absolutely.
[Music Playing]
Transcription by:
Scribe4you Transcription Services