How to Get a Raise from the Tightwad Boss

Dearie Jean, I have worked miracles for my boss and her company but she is so incredibly tightfisted, how do I get a raise? Well, honey, do not ask her for a raise, it is too easy for her to say no to a raise. What you are going to get is a bonus and here is how you are going to do it. This miracle worker! Wallah! You say to her, “My dear Miss Clinchpoop, oh, I know money is tight right now, but it is my job to make you look successful.” Then hand her this chart! Here is Ms. Clinchpoop’s picture, you say, “Here are my monthly projections for the coming year.” And then show her how each month you are going to add a glittering pile of green box to her revenue, with your genius plan. Then say, “How about a bonus for each of these months’ that I make these projections?” She will be so dazzled by these numbers how can she say no! It is impossible because you both win! I will see you next time, darling, adios!



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