Female 1: In this episode, the women discuss what makes good sex good.
Female 2: Good sex is made from—I think a combination of confidence, communication and trust. I think you have to have confidence that what she want is important to the situation and not just go along with whatever routine it is that the guy had planned. I think you’ve got to be with someone trust, even if it’s not someone you're serious about. Hopefully someone you're okay with seeing and touching your naked body. Someone you're okay with bossing around a little a bit and somebody who you—you are at least able to guess—has your orgasm in mind at some point and being able to communicate to them exactly what to do. You know, its not going to be any good if you cant tell him which is why I think its important to practice on your own also.
Female 3: Before you are confident in a sexual situation, does that mean you didn’t have any good sex or?
Female 4: I think that my partners had good sex. I know that I think that I had a good sex. Before I was confident in bed, before I was confident in what I wanted and what I felt good and that I deserve to feel, that it was about me experiencing pleasure as well.
Female 3: But I guess there was a difference in confidence in like yourself and you able to get what you want and also in what you're able to bring them—very, very true.
Female 2: I was much more confident in my prowess pleasing a man. Before I was confident to say, you know what, this is what works for me and you know.
Female 4: I was also confident in my sexual technique for a long time before I ever had a sense of entitlement about my own pleasure. This is a whole another kind of confidence.
Female 2: It’s a different skill to be confident about you know what you want.
Female 5: I also think that when you're younger and like starting to have sex as I did, you—that’s what you thought good sex was, is that you thought good sex as you being able to work it in the sack and not, “Can he work it in the sack and break me off?” You know, it was very much like, “Oh, my god I wanted to get—I want to get him to cum as fast as I can.” I want him to like make a lot of noise. I want him to like me. I want to be sexy like—you know and so I think that it takes a long time to figure what that it takes them to be good too to make it—to be good at sex and just because you're like breaking a huge sweat it doesn’t mean that its good sex. You know what I mean.
Female 6: In my experience I have had sex mostly with women and initially like it was with women and it was good right off the bath. Because with women, it’s more about pleasing like it has to be about pleasing. Like it’s just not like automatic pilot or whatever, okay. Whatever I saw in the movie, let’s just do that. You know, its like, okay, how does this make you feel, so going in initially, I just felt really great and the sex was great because I think for me, sex is about letting go because if you already have two partners that are like, we want to please each other. This is a given. We trust each other, that’s given. So all that stuff is a given then the next step is can I allow myself to take that pleasure because I think for me, like a lot of like, “Oh! Do I deserve this? Oh god, she’s spending a lot of time on me.” Okay, can I allow this? You know, so it’s like I think that’s the other piece that you talk about too, its confidence in your self that you deserve this.
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