Hi, this is Francisco Bujan from vitalcoaching.com and we are talking about Dating Success for Women.
We are now exploring little areas of understanding guys a little bit better. The one tip that I want to check now, the one strategy I want to check or the situation I want to check in your life is, what if a guy is working with you, for instance, at the office. You work somewhere and you see this guy who works there with you, and he is really flirting with you. This is a kind of situation that can happen very often and you often wonder what to do with him. Do you have to initiate action? Does it mean that he is interested in you? And, what comes next?
I am going to tell you something which is very simple. Flirting is very, very different than dating. When a guy or a woman flirts, very often it does not mean anything but that. That is just flirting.
If he is flirting with you, it does not mean that he is interested. Well, he might be. But even if he has another girlfriend for instance, or if he is married, very often in itself that it is just a way of playfully relating to somebody else. And very often, if you are in the dating world, you will see a guy flirting with you and you will think, “Wow, he is really into me. He really wants to be with me.” And you start imagining things about the future and very often, it is not true at all.
What he means is simply, you are a nice girl. I feel attracted to you in a certain away and I feel that the best way for me to relate to you is to flirt with you. It is a way of interacting and it is a goal in itself. It does not mean that I want to build my life around you. It does not mean that want to make babies with you. It simply means that there is there, the form of complicity that I enjoy. And, I enjoy it exactly for what it is.
Now sometimes, if a guy flirts with you, of course it will mean much more. It means that there is a potential. But not if you see that a guy who is already married or already committed in a relationship and starts flirting with you, it does not mean that he wants to leave his girlfriend. It does not mean that he wants to break up and make his life with you. It simply means that right there, there is an innocent exchange or innocent way of communicating with you and he expresses that in a flirty way.
It is a very simple thing to remember and realize. Flirting can be a goal in itself. It is fun in itself and it does not need to mean something much lesser and much greater. You can enjoy it for what it is. You do not have to build up high expectations or try to put it in another context. It does not mean that you have to start dating somebody if this person is simply flirting with you.
It is okay to just flirt, to have fun with it, and keep an open mind, free spirit and enjoy it for what it is. Enjoy the game simply for what it is, without having high expectations. You do not have to build them or otherwise, very often, you will really crash because you expect much more than what the guy intends.
Okay, you take care and bye-bye.
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