This video is titled, what men don’t know about marriage and the point of no return. I’m Larry Belata and I live 27 years of marriage made in hell but in the 28th year, I fell in love with my wife. We’re continually married 34 years now and closer than ever. In those 27 years, I learned something virtually no one knows about marriage, so with over 1 million 500,000 marriages dropping into divorce every single year, my video should be on your urgent list. If you’re a man who’s married, I just dare you to watch this video and if you’re a wife struggling to get your husbands attention about your feelings, then this is the video you want him to watch next.
It’s in six sections, introduction, content, confused, struggling, miserable and the point of no return bog. This happens to be the steps a marriage goes through that end in divorce and there’s no mystery about it. It might take your marriage, three, seven, 27 years but if you’re ignorant of this, your divorce is very likely. To support this video, be sure to download the free report, my single biggest mistake. It will give you the detail about what you can do to keep your marriage out of the point of no return. You know your marriage starts as all marriages do with hope and contentment. This are good days you know and no couple wants to think it wont last forever, sure you might have arguments but then it wont last long. Both of you seem to be more in love after because well you forgive and you forget.
Now since men never take a course on women, things usually start going wrong. There’s money troubles, job troubles, children get sick, daycare situations for two working parents, highly stressful. Older parents need care, someone in the marriage starts demanding their space then suddenly one of you falls to the confused level. Because women file over 80% of the divorces, this example shows, what a woman goes through when falling to the point of no return. So on the confused level, a wife starts doing things to get her husbands attention because she has service needs, helping on home and emotional needs. Like thoughtfulness, listening and consideration but husbands don’t know much about her emotional needs and don’t show much of an interest in this either. Husbands can’t understand what the problem is and they put up resistance.
Many husbands simply just wont talk anymore, thinking their wives are creating conflict, so it’s on this confused level that wives go looking for friends and other forms of relief. And then she begins another effort to get her husband to understand, what she really wants but she still doesn’t get what she expects. The pressure is too much and she falls another level.
On the struggling level, there are good days, there are bad days for both, and this is where they silently agree to stop talking about touchy subjects that end in conflict. In the struggling level, the couple has to communicate around these issues as if they didn’t exist but of course they do and the distance starts to grow. On the struggling level, friends and relatives might suggest marriage counseling and depending no her beliefs the wife might urge the husband to take that step but if he resist or the sessions go poorly, she drops to the miserable level.
On this level there are no good days for one spouse, the wife, everywhere she looks everybody is telling her that she needs to find her own happiness. On the miserable level, a wife can easily see her husband’s insensitive ways barricading her opportunity to be happy and the resentment keeps building in her but when he sees it, he thinks that by ignoring the situation will work itself out and there is nothing he needs to do.
If the wife in our illustration saw her parents divorce in her childhood, she will believe divorce is a good solution to a problem she just can’t solve alone. With no relief, no hope and no success in her relationship that is by this time turn the couple into roommates or worse, she falls in the point of no return bog.
Arriving here, she announces she wants to do something legal to end the marriage and suddenly her husband jumps into panic mode. Once in that panic, he has no idea what his doing but he starts doing something. He searches the internet for advice on what to do. He has no clue his wife has been falling down to this very distinct levels and in this frantic state, he attempts dramatically caring behavior but in the bog, his wife sees it as temporary and fake. That’s because his effort is driven by desperation rather than by love. When a husband does not realize is that his wife is in the point of no return bog and this is a dark and foggy place. A thousand yards across the bog is the bright light of hope that divorce will bring and in the bog, the wife sees her children as resilliant kids who would be just fine after the divorce. She imagines that life after divorce would be filled with happy times, happy children, financial security and everything will work out just fine. This is her new hope, in spite of this vision it’s complicated because the moment she arrives in the point of no return bog, her feelings for her husband are not completely dead.
This tears at most women and when we look inside her, we’ll she’s really two entities. On the bright side, she’s still a caring loving forgiving intelligent human being who wants a happy family and husband included but when we look on the left side. We see her chaos engine that is now throwing her into turmoil, when this chaos engine takes over, she’s cruel and defensive and blaming and inconsistent and then one day she feels guilty and in other day, she’ll blame her for everything. She’ll stay out until four in the morning, take off on a personal vacations, spend money on whatever makes her happy in the bog, she leaves most family duties to her husband to do while she pursues the unrestricted life.
The chaos engine has a life of its own and it leaves husband to say, this is not the girl I married, well it’s the engine that promises her a bright future she can just get to the other side of the bog where divorce will be final. In order for the trip to be completed, her chaos engine needs power, the engine gets that power by connecting to the chaos engine in of all places, her husband. He also is feeling the tension of the engine in him and he can’t turn his own off, the more her chaos engine runs the more his runs. They actually power each other and working together to create massive tension; they drive the wife across the bog to reach the snap line.
It’s called snap line because this is the place in the bog where something just snaps. Now once this line is hit, she’ll feel nothing for her husband. After the snap line, she’ll see him as a cold stranger and once she hits the snap line, nothing can turn her feelings around. She’s emotionally dead and it worst her husband is the enemy. At best, his just the children father but nothing more to her. The time husbands call me is the day their wives fall into the point of no return bog. I teach men who are willing a course called it only takes one to heal a marriage. This is a wake up call for husbands who have been asleep at the wheel.
Husbands have never been thought about anything about their emotions and they never learn anything about women. This course teaches them about both; it would have been so much easier if a man would have taken the—it only takes one to heal a marriage course when his wife initially fell to the confused level. It would have been so simple to create a great and fulfilling marriage for both of them. Even if you took the course when she reached the struggling level, it would have been a task but their success would be almost guaranteed. If you took, my course after she fell to the miserable level it might have been difficult but it would be so much easier to reach, so why do men wait until everything is a crisis?
Well I found over the years of working with men that they just do what their fathers did when it comes to marriage. Its my own conviction that if a man will get the course, it only takes one to heal a marriage and do everything I teach even though his wife has hit the point of no return bog, he still stands a good chance that he can reach her and turn off the chaos between them. It would be worth it to give her everything his got because he stands to literally change the entire of his family. From a dark and painful story of divorce to a happy and fulfilling life with the woman he loves, a woman he understands and finally the only woman he really wants. That’s when they can be great parents to happy and successful kids. Men don’t let your chaos engine keep you in the dark. At this video sounds very familiar, doing nothing now will lead to certain desperate and a lonely end.
Instead why not get, it only takes one to heal a marriage course, do it for yourself, do it for your wife, your kids, your finances, and your future but do it now. Thanks for watching, I’m Larry Belata.
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