How to Make a Marriage Work

[Music Playing] Well, people want to know about how they make a marriage work. I say marriage is a work of art and it half art and it is half work. It literally does take work. Great marriages are not accidental. They are intentional and it takes work. I do not believe in the phrase “incompatibility”. I honestly believe that any two people can be compatible if you grow up. The bottom line is I want what I want, you want what you want, and that is just selfishness. And the purpose of marriage is to teach you to grow up, is they teach you to be unselfish. We all think marriage is to meet all my needs. The first place, there are many needs you have in your life that your husband or your wife will never be able to meet. And so, you are setting for major disappointment. If you think you ever going to find the man or woman is going to meet all your needs, they will not. Only God can meet all your needs and a lot of people get married, looking in their husband or wife to fulfill the needs that only God can fulfill, and it just causes disappointment, frustration, bitterness, and anger. As a Pastor now for over 30 years, I have counseled many, many couples through marriage, problems and premarital counseling. All marriage problems come down to one of five areas; money, sex, in-laws, communication, and children. When Kaye and I got married, we went fight for five in the first month [Laughing] and our marriage was down “do-bi-do-down-down”. And we did and we were in love but we did not get along because we are the exact opposite in every single DNA cell of our body. I say high, she is low, I say why, she is I do not know, it is “obladi-oblada” we are literally, totally opposite to each other. But that is can be a good thing if you are willing to grow. I have grown more from my wife then from any person. She is grown more from me definitely not to other person because if you the same strings, then you tend to have to same weaknesses, so you get the presence at the same time, you both get up at the same time and marriage is complimentary. It is not competition, it is not 50-50, it is 100%-100%, it is learning to offer your self to the other person, and they offer themselves you. And it is not logo this far if you go this far, it is 100-100%, it is learning to really to be unselfish. And so I believe that there are things you can only learn in marriage. If you do not get married, you need to get in some other kind of close relationship where you have to give yourself away and I strongly believe in taking care of nieces and nephews and helping with kids and things like that. If marriage teaches you unselfishness, have the kid really teaches themselves because all of a sudden, you can just live on your own schedule. You have to say you know think of somebody else first. It is work but it is worth it. [Music Playing]