How to Multiply Your Social Power

Hi! This is Francisco Bujan from vitalcoaching.com and we are talking about dating success, relationship success. This time we are going to talk about both men and women and we are going to expand in the realm of social dynamics in general. The key topic for this video is; How to multiply your social power? Imagine that you are out there in social situations and you get the feeling that you do not get all the value from friends. It is a bit tricky or difficult to imagine friendships that people respond to you in a way which is not as open as friendly as you would like. So, the key is to understand what maybe key disqualifiers or turn off that you might be expressing and realize also how it works with social dynamics. The term itself social dynamic might feel a little bit conceptual but that is what is going on. If you understand the power dynamics that go on within the social context, then you can also take steps to improve your social life, and make sure that people will respond to you in a way which values you rather than turning you off. So, one of the keys for instance to notify a social power. First is to gain extra confidence and this has to do with your level of power, your attitude, the way you approach people. Very often exactly in the same way as you can be needing in a relationships, you can be needing within friendships. So this is going to be a turn off with creating fans with establishing friendships. You are going to appear needy when you initiate the contact too frequently. For instance, If you have a new friend or somebody you just met and you keep on inviting that person to party to things with that. That person reciprocating and inviting you in return then you are going to be appearing as if you are the one who really needs the friendship and so, it is going to be a turn off very frequently because of that. Another element which plays a very important role is your network. I know that all of these can be feel unfair or be unfair in your eyes but it is just the way it works. It is really has to do social dynamics. So, If you have a big network of friends with lots of connections and then, wherever you go people know you. That is an asset that is something which is a plus. Another asset is the assets that you have. Having a big house for instance, how come I get friends because I have a big house? That is not really fair. Again, but this is a part of you. it is a part of who you are. If you have a big house and have parties all the time at your place then it is part of reality, it is a part of your personality. People are going too attracted to you because of that. They know that you are somebody who can throw great parties and they are going to want to be your friend so that they get invited. This kind of thing really work, Imagine also that you have truck where you can take people on the weekends and you go for get-away, people love that. So, it is all part of your personality. It is part of the things that you can do to be socially more successful. What if you do not have in your rules. Well, you do not have to compensate and go and buy a big mansion so that you can have parties. Eventhough, you can do that, but part of it is to activate some aspects of your social life that you are not maybe activating or just if you tend to always want to have time one on one with people, with friends for instance. It might feel sometimes where people might get boring. It might be limiting. So, what you can do is to invite a few people, so that you can introduce them to each other. For instance, if you are interested in having a friendship with a woman and you are a male and you want to have her as a friend. You say, “Hey on Saturday I have a friend whose band is playing in that place, why do not you come, I want to introduce you to them”. Once you start being this kind of person who is going to connect people to each other and that is something which is going to add value to you and your social life. Quickly, a few other examples of what can be qualifiers or disqualifiers. Of course, there is a risk, race social status, all that is going to play a role. The assets that we already have mentioned, personality, cultural background, age, network, attitudes, all that plays a role when we talk about control background. For instance, you have to realize that a group of friends most of the time will have a second set of cultural behaviors and if you do not feel like you fit in. for instance, they might be very much into sports, entertainment, certain type of music, If you do not fit in, it is going to be a little bit of turn off. The goal is to play the game. If you do not fit in try to see what you can do so that you actually making more attractive, okay. Do take care and have a great day. Bye, bye.