Female: Do you hang around with your buddies, week and after weekend and wonder why you are not meeting anyone special? Relationship consultant Helena Rosenberg shares great advice on how to break free of toxic relationships and make room for promising romantic relationships.
Helena: There is a great story about shyness that I want to tell you about because so many people have social anxiety and it really does keeps them from being able to go out in the world and enjoy themselves.
There was a famous psychologist from the last century and he was really painfully shy and he wanted to get over it so, he decided that he was going to ask out a thousand women because, he knew that if he forced himself again and again and again, to repeat this process, overtime, he was going to become desensitized to the fear.
So he asked out a thousand women, he kept a record of it, he did not end up falling in love after the thousand but I can tell you, that he learned that he could do it at a drop of hat, it was not hard to ask a person out, he was no longer afraid of the rejection.
And that is an extreme example, but what I want to say to shy people is that the more you force yourself in to social situations, as hard as it might be, each time you go out there, it is going to get easier.
Each time you make a little step, you are going to feel more and more self confident and so I want to urge you to do that. Secondly, if you are looking perhaps to date, and you are very shy, rather than going to singles events which can be incredibly, incredibly frightening, go to events that are just attracting people in general. Go to places in groups whether at churches or synagogues. Take advantage of the things that you see, advertised in the newspaper, put yourself in social situations even if you think it is going to make you uncomfortable.
Female: Do you have people that hold you back in your life, how can you minimize contact with them, maximize time with positive people. Share your relationship goals right here on www.peoplejam.com.
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