How to Set Life Goals - Coaching Strategies for Life

Christine: So let’s get into our topic today of goals, you know, goals as you say give you life, direction, and a sense of meaning and give you a framework for making decisions but it’s important that your goal is something that you really, really want. Okay so how do you go about getting to that goal? Dieter: Clarifying what you really, really want. I've seen a lot of people who has had goals, actually are goals to live up to the expectation of other people and not for themselves, and that creates inner confidence. They want to make sure that it’s something you really, really, really want. A real goal, a good goal, I would say, something that scares you and excites you at the same time because that’s the time that we can expand our personal boundaries, physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally and if you expand your personal boundaries, you have a bigger space to play in. You create more opportunities and that means more self-confidence, better self-esteem. Christine: Do you mean—what do you mean by scare you, you challenge you? Dieter: You know when you think about something all the time, and it’s like exhilarating in one level but also scary at the other level because sometimes that means that we have to give something up and that’s sometimes scary, whether it’s relationship or a habit or a belief system. Christine: But if you don’t do it, that means you really don’t want it? Dieter: Well there are different reasons. It’s not as simple as it sounds. Christine: Right. Dieter: Sometimes we are dealing with limited beliefs. I mean you want to believe it’s possible for you to achieve what you want. You want to believe you deserve it and you want to know that you have what it takes to get the outcome that you deserve. Christine: Do you find that a lot with different clients that people think they don’t deserve something good? Dieter: Yeah, and that’s a really—it’s seen very, very deep and it doesn’t come out in just a normal conversation. Christine: Right. So what are some of the specific things that we should do to reach our goals? Dieter: The first thing is to use positive language when we set goals. Be very specific. I like to think of the mind as a goal-seeking organism, just like Google, the search engine. If you type in the right keywords, you get good results. You type in the wrong keywords, you get wrong results. The same is for the man, so you want to be specific in what you want and the more specific you are, the better you can measure your progress towards your goal. Christine: And then you have to be proactive and consider the consequences, meaning that if you reach your goal, there might be a consequence that you’ll have to deal with that you maybe didn’t anticipate? Dieter: Sometimes we forget to be a part of a system. You're part of a family system, a relationship, a community, an organization. Whatever you do, whatever you think has an impact on the system and like in nature with ecology of nature, you want to make sure there is balance. And the proactive, I think the good goals is—or goals that you can initiate yourself and control. Sometimes if you say, well I want my husband to understand me better, that’s not a good goal to have because there's nothing you can do about that. You cannot control their behavior, right? Christine: Oh okay. do you think— Dieter: News flash. Christine: Yeah. That’s what I've been doing. Do you think when you set a goal, do you think it’s good to share that with people around you or do you think it’s better to keep it to yourself. Dieter: There are different opinions. I think if you share with few people, the people that will support you, I think that’s positive. Christine: Because there are people that will sabotage you. Dieter: And especially the people who are closest to you because they want to keep you just the way you are. Christine: Really? Dieter: Don’t take any chances, yes. A lot of people who want to lose weight, their family member, they don’t always welcome that because that means that they have to change too. Because if you change, they will change somehow. Christine: So that’s why they bring them donuts? Dieter: The donuts, yeah. Where are the donuts? Christine: To make sure that you gain weight or you stay the same, right? Dieter: Yeah. Christine: That’s very interesting. All right and so finally, if you fail to plan, then you plan to fail, right? Dieter: Yeah. —used to say that if you don’t plan your life, don’t be surprised that somebody else will plan it for you and guess what they have planned for you, not very much. So it comes down to take an ownership of your own life, setting your own goals and be resourceful because you can't do it on your own, you need some help and that’s why life coaching is such a needed resource, especially today in the down economy and people are struggling with careers. Christine: I think it’s interesting that there is life coaching that’s going on in the US but it’s very, very common in Europe. Dieter: It’s very prevalent in Europe. It’s a way of moving forward and personal development, I mean it’s very important, self-help industries, gigantic, all right, even in this country. Christine: All right well great Dieter. Dieter Powells, we’d see you next Friday, same time, same place. Dieter: I’ll be here. Wonderful! Christine: Thank you and you can ask Dieter a question and learn more about life coaching by going on to our website at kplr11.com and it’s also a link to Dieter’s website.