How to Turn Down a Good Friend Who Wants to Date

Jennifer: Today in Ask Dan and Jennifer, what would you do if a persistent guy really likes you, but you don’t like him that way? How do you let him down easy? Dan and Jennifer, this guy that I'm friends with, he's a nice guy, but I don’t have any interest in him other than friends. He asks me out, I said no. but he is still sending me gifts and asking me out. And I have to reject him constantly, it’s getting kind of pathetic and it’s creeping me out. How can I get him to get over me without hurting his feelings? Dan: That’s really rough. That’s really rough. Jennifer: You probably can't. You can try. But you're going to have to be firm. Okay. You’re going to have to sit down with him, face to face, look you know, I'm really flattered that you like me, but I just don’t like you that way. And all of these persistence, it’s kind of creeping me out. I want to be your friend, but if you don’t stop, we can't be friends. I mean, that’s what I would say, it’s got to be that direct for this guy. Because he's not getting the hints, obviously. Right? That sounds good? Here's the thing, he's probably going to go, well why? Why won't you give me a chance? What's wrong with me? All these kind of stuff. Stay away from those questions, okay. Keep it about you. It’s about me, that’s how I feel and I just don’t feel it. Dan: Because he's trying to change something, and I’ll make it work. And the connection is there, the connection ain't there. It’s one of those things. Jennifer: As soon as you point out the problem, you gave him hope. Dan: Yeah. And you know, I just have to say this, I just like him as friend business. No you don’t, why would you want to be friend to a person that’s creeping you out? You want to be friends with friends that you want to be friends with. Jennifer: I don’t agree with you. I think it’s perfectly fine to be friends. Dan: Oh my God. World’s first. We disagree. Jennifer: Shocking. Dan: I just have a small group of friends. Okay, that’s my idea. Jennifer: But you can't be friends if he's going to keep being creepy. Dan: Yeah. I mean, the guy is being creepy. He almost had whatever’s with you that he did not get. Now, safety tips. Of course, my side of the house here. Safety tips, don’t go sit down where you're going to let him down easily, where you're going to explain to him that you don’t love or feel for him that way at his apartment all alone somewhere. Okay. Jennifer: Or in a car in a dark garage. Dan: Always, always, always, always, and sometimes, always. I'm talking coffee shop, not in the dark or at night or nobody else is there. Public place. Because if he goes weird or creepy or something, you want other people around. Security, safety. Real important. Okay. Sounds that he likes you maybe in an unhealthy way. That’s just what I ran to that. It could go weird, you never know what kind of psychosis the guy has. Maybe he's totally normal like a teddy bear, maybe psycho. You never know. Public place, safety first. And if you're feeling really unsafe, be sure friends know where you are. This is always good, first time dates or whatever, don’t go into the guy’s apartment. Public place, make sure friends know where you are. Jennifer: So what do you guys think? How should she do it? She let him down easy? I don’t know. Dan: Maybe she have to be firm. You push him, what should she do? Jennifer: Yeah, you just ignore it and hope it will go away.