Gilbert: Ah, Vivian, I've been wondered by some of the four letters word we offer.
Vivian: Have you indeed?
Gilbert: For example, if I type in P-I-G, I get SHIV.
Vivian: Oh, yes SHIV.
Is that a word people use?
Gilbert: Of course Shiv, an improvised knife like weapon as in I dispatched the black art with my Shiv.
Vivian: Right, then the second choice we offer is P-I-G-T.
Gilbert: As in the abbreviation for the gene, phosphatidylinositol glycan class T and there is I believe are almost suggestions we offer.
Vivian: What about shit?
Gilbert: I beg your pardon.
Vivian: It's a slang word for faeces and backstitching anything or anyone of poor quality.
Gilbert: Yes I know the term maybe too well.
Vivian: Gilbert are you seriously suggesting that the sort of people who compose predictive text messages on their mobile phones whatever use a word, like shit?
Gilbert: It is just I was talking to the milkman this morning and he said it in quite common usage, so when someone types this, isn't it more likely that they are trying to make SHIT than SHIV or PIGT?
Vivian: Our job Gilbert is to offer people not the words they do use, but the words that they should use.
Gilbert: So we always say.
Vivian: Which is why when someone types in COOL, we offer them COOL or AMBLE whereas we do not offer them cock.
Gilbert: Or anal.
Vivian: Look, I believe predictive text can be a real force for good, turning rude messages into politer version such as seeps off you ducking yanka.
Gilbert: It is not what we would have actually achieved.
Vivian: Nothing less than this. An entire generation of youngsters with manners, courtesy and a weirdly extensive vocabulary.
Gilbert: But get on the begin cloud, get cool out Vivian, there is a new world out there, a new world in which people swear all the bloody time.
Vivian: All the lonely time, you mean?
Gilbert: No, I don't. Look, just because we pretend they no longer exist, these rude words won't just disappear and besides if someone really wants to write, let's say bum jokey, we will just stop them switching to non predictive mode and spelling it out letter by letter.
Vivian: You are telling to point Gilbert and I know you mean well, but sometimes you really are a total art.
Speaker: Dock off man. Everybody knows what cool you are? You are a ducking fick.
Speaker: What did I tell you?
Gilbert: Vivian, Vivian, Vivian.
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