Speaker: How to write the Great American Novel. First, find America on any map, atlas or globe. Knowing the location of America is very important because we are not writing the Great Icelandic Novel. Very well, let's continue, a nutritional breakfast is an essential part of writing the great American Novel, after all, Steinbeck didn't write 'The Grapes of Wrath' on an empty stomach. Next, eat comfortable, ergonomics are inextricably linked to the Great American Novel. I personally have found that I'm a much better writer if I'm completely nude or rather nude except for chaps and a cowboy hat. Let you know, do whatever works for you, be sure to e-mail your friends and family and tell them to properly go to hell because you are a genius and they are too stupid to see it and they will be sorry when you win the Pulitzer Prize. Then take a 15 minute nap, being a genius is hard work. Now attack the keyboard like a wild werewolf, see how I have used the literation in the last sentence, try doing that as well.
Great American Novels are build with that kind of stuff. At last, enjoy a glass of champagne. You are well on your way to completing the Great American Novel. Do not imbibe too much, it's a fallacy that a writer has to drink to create. With the exceptions of Hemingway, Fitzgerald and Faulkner. After a long day of genius Great American Novel writing, I like to use an exfoliating apricot scrub to refresh my pores. Sleep is of the utmost importance to a writer of the Great American Novel. You must get at least 12 hours each night, go to sleep repeating to yourself, "My life will have its wittinesses."
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