Hi, this is Francisco Bujan from vitalcoaching.com and we are talking about Dating and Relationship Success for Women.
The topic for this video is How to Reconnect with Your Ex.
The reason I am recording this video is because I have been coaching lots of guys and lots of woman on breakup issues. And, I have a whole problem on my site, one of them, you know, for man is called how to get your partner back after she breaks up? And, another one for women, how to get your partner back after he breaks up? So, when I coach men or women on this topic, the question that I get very often is, Is there any way I can get back with my ex? I really, have nostalgic about what happened with him. I really want to reconnect with him. Is there anyway we can get back together? And, I want to give you a very straight answer to this question because most people do not realize the real challenge of getting back together. What does it really mean?
So, the first thing that I have to say is that, getting back together does not work in 95% of the cases. Why? Because, most of the times, the causes or the reason that it lead to your break up are still there when you tried to get back together. It is very simple. If, for instance, your ex-boyfriend, you know used to for instance to drink too much, or he cheated on you, or maybe you have, you know, he had a commitment issue, he did not really want to go all the way through marriage, or he did not want to have children, or maybe he did not give you the attention, or maybe you got bored a little bit in the relationship. I mean, all these issues, when you try to get back together, that is what you are going to fix first, if you did not consciously, let say, try to solve them.
So, the key to get back together is to have two persons who are really committed to make it work. And, it takes a little bit of focus, a little bit of energy to consistently focus on getting back together, and overcoming the challenge that you had in the past. So, right now, we are checking late, to be the situation, where you are the one who initiated the break up and you want your ex to still give you a chance.
So, the first thing that you have to check is really is the reason that it lead to your break up is still there. I mean, for instance when you decide to bring up, what was the real cause of your break up? Was it because he was not committed enough? Was it because he was giving too much attention to other woman? Is it because he was, you know, you felt jealous, or you felt demanding or needy and he was not responding to that. Or, he was showing lot of initiative, he was not romantic enough, or maybe it was your sex life. Maybe, there was lack of excitement. Anything. I mean, try to identify the exact deal breakers. Once you write these down, then what you have to do next are the breakers still there. Maybe, you did break up for a year or two years. Maybe a month, maybe a couple of weeks, whatever time was spent between your break up and now, identify exactly what was that your breaker, really.
What is the reason that it leads you to your break up? Once you have these reasons are clear, ask yourself, “Is this reason still there?” Is the breaker still there? And if you were getting back together with him, right now, if he was still giving you a chance and you are ready to give him a chance and you were both totally committed, would these issues still be there.
And the next question to ask yourself, “Did you have a solution or strategy to deal with that specific issue?” For instances, I mean, if you were dating somebody who you think he does not deal money very well, you know, overspends, for instance. And you get back together; well that is what you are going to face again in the relationship. What you do, who want to face these challenges, are you ready to say, I do not, I realized that actually you are not the right person. Are you going to say, well, here is the solution here is the strategy to deal with that. So if you have a solution and a strategy, yes, you can actually get back together and overcome that, but you need two people who are committed to make it work really. Two persons who are deciding together that we know what the challenge is. We know what it takes to make it work and we are dedicated to focus a leave for a period of one to three months to overcome this challenge.
Okay, that is all I can say more or less within this five minutes video. What I want you to do is very simple. If you feel that you have a chance, you know, if you feel that the breaker that you have there, you can identify it exactly, and overcome it, then go for it, you know, give me a call, or get in touch, or go visit my site vitalcoaching.com and get in touch. And other thing, if you are the one who broke up, you have to apologize to him and tell him clearly that it is not going to happen again. You know, exactly, why it happened and you will not drive him through this process again.
Okay, that is all for now. Get in touch if you are in the situation and take care for now. Bye-bye.
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