Hi! And I am Tracey Cox. Now, recent survey, almost two thousand people age between 16 and 24, which was commissioned by Nivea Visage Young, has turned up some very interesting results about your attitude to sex. Then you might find some of the results interesting so I thought I would let you know what the research on covered and answer some of your questions.
Dear Tracey: I have seen lots of my friends boast about having had sex on Facebook and My Space. I know they actually have not done it yet and do not understand why they are pretending that they have.
When I was really young, my best friend moved to the UK and I lived in Australia and we started writing to each other. Now, both of us were virgins at the time but she started writing about all these things she had done with her boyfriend. So I pretended I got up to all sorts as well. Now the fact was neither of us had done anything, but our moms found the letters and they was held to pay. The thing is people make up stuff to make themselves look what they perceived to be as cool.
Now, that was a huge thing actually that came out of the survey is that 93% of you, new social networking sites like Facebook and these have a big influence on your life. Now, on the outside, this is a good thing, because they are great for teaching you how to flirt and chat easily with the opposite sex, easy access to the net, also means you can get your hands on lots of good non touch mental information about sex, which means you are less likely to get pregnant or get an STI. But you have to use your judgment and sort out what is rubbish and what is not. And, your friends boasting about losing their virginity when they have not is a really good example, it is just people showing off.
But lots of people do not have the maturity or the judgment to deal with a lot of stuff there exposed to on these sites. So take a lot of what you see and read on posts like Facebook with a grain of salt. And as a general rule, the bigger the boast, the less true it is and the absolute rule is just because your friends say that they are doing something, does not mean you should because half the time, they are not.
Dear Tracey: I am nearly ready to have sex with my boyfriend of 18 months but I am a little scared to have sex because I have watched sex on the net and I really do not think I would like to do what they do.
Do you know I was almost relieved to get this question, because one thing to say they turned up with just how informed teenagers is about sex these days? Like when I was growing up, I was so open and terrified about sex because I did not have a lot of information about it. Now, I know you guys have a lot of access to sex information on the net and I really think it is a fantastic thing because the more educated you are about sex, the better the decisions you will make.
But I also know from the survey that 56 % of 16 to 21 year olds have also watched porn. Now, let me give you a hint here, this is not real sex, real sex is gentler, calmer, and there will be a lot less expected of you. What you are looking at on screen, when you see sex on screen is that it is over exaggerated sex. It is just like when you watch a movie, where exciting things happen every second. In real life, we know that does not actually happen it is just Hollywood produces doing it because they want to keep us entertained. Now, it is the same with porn, it is acting and it is freaking you out, please do not watch it.
Dear Tracey: I worry I am not as pretty as other girls and would not be able to pull a guy. I have a cool picture of me on Facebook but am worried that when they meet me in the reality, they will be put off. How important is how you look?
Listen, you are not the only one worrying about this, about half of all the girl surveyed but Nivea Visage Young, said they used the best picture possible to attract guys and to look as good as their friends. Now, this is completely and utterly normal and I think most people realize this and actually just their expectations, knowing that when you meet in the flesh, you probably not going to look as great as you did in your picture. So the person you are meeting probably were not going to look good as they did in their picture either. But by the time you have chatted on line and you have the phone call you got a connection that goes a little deeper than looks. Now, I am not saying that some guys when they take one look at you, and decide you are not their type, but you are just as likely to think that about them.
I know plenty of pretty girls who cannot keep the guy and I know lots of not so pretty girls that guys are absolutely crazy about. Good looks wear off after about date three, it is your personality it is what going to keep him interested on a date.
Tracey, what should I do? My boyfriend is pressuring me to have sex but I am not ready. He says if I do not he will dump me because there are plenty of girls who will do it with him.
Here is the deal, as you go through life; you will probably meet many men who would tell you they will leave you if you do not do stuff. Now this stuff will range from I am going to leave you if you do not have sex with me to I am going to leave you if you do not like threesome with me to I am going to leave you if you do not give me a beer, while he is watching the sport on tele.
Now, here is what you say to any guy who says, I will leave you unless you do that. You just say to them, great, your lost, not mine, oh and by the way, there is the door. Losing your virginity might not be something we save for our wedding day, but it is still a huge changing point in our lives and it is an enormous big deal. If it is a positive experience, you are much more likely to do sex to something that is healthy and enjoyable and men as nice people who can be trusted.
Now, the reverse happens if it is a nightmare, that clumsy five-minute fumble can have extraordinary repercussions, so no one should take loosing their virginity lightly. The guy who says, you dumped unless you do it should be dumped by you immediately.
Now, 36 % of you said on the survey that you think the girl-in-skins are true reflection of teens today and they certainly do not have any problem sticking out for themselves. Get in to the habit now telling guys like your boyfriend where to go and believe me, your love life will be a lot smoother.
Now, if you want any further information about any of these, check out fyimag.co.uk.
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