Hi. This is Francisco Bujan from vitalcoaching.com. We are talking about dating success for women. The topic for this video is, he is too serious, there is no fun, and there is no romance. If you are dating a guy who is a little bit in this type of mode, you know a bit too serious. I get this question a lot from women that who are dating a guy and they notice a guy and they notice that the conversations that they are having is either at work or within school, university context or you are already dating and you notice that this man is not able to lighten up, to have fun conversations. He keeps drifting towards very serious topics. It might be politics or religion or it might be his own beliefs. It might be tough things, maybe be his is very scientific in his mind and keeps talking about technology for instance. There can be dozens of topics you will engage in to that you might thing that is really boring. I am not interested to do that stuff.
I would like me to be a bit romantic and a bit sexier, a bit more teasing, a bit more fun. Is there anything that you can do in this kind of situations to lighten up a date and my advice or my answer is yes of course? There a lot of things that you can do. What happens in a date is half your responsibility, half his. It is like when you start dancing with somebody. If you start dancing salsa or tango or any dance which requires a couple of moves. If you start dancing if two are skilled dancing, the dance is going to be much nicer. So with conversations it is the same.
Some guys often, some women as well are going to be totally hopeless in terms of conversation. They are not going to be good at lightening up a conversation and having fun. But in any situation you are in, if you want to keep it a try. The best thing to do is to bring in topics or approach a conversation, or approach the way you relate to him in a way much more fun, sexy oriented.
What can you do to do that to bring this lightness in the conversation? Basically, it is to first to tease him. Again watch the video on how to tease guys because there lots of ideas on this topic on there. What you can do is really target an aspect of his personality he is very proud of. It can be precisely job or material possession or anything along that line. You can really challenge him, attack him in a lighter way, in a fun way on this things and that is a nice way of teasing him.
Another thing is to engage the conversation into a more sexual conversation or to a more flirty conversation and you do that by asking him questions about his sexual experiences or what he is attracted to in terms of sexual attraction. You can also ask him more teasing and flirty questions like would you have a threesome? In what circumstances, this kind of things, this kind of questions are going to bring in what we can call the sexual dimension in your conversation. It is sexual talk and this in itself forces him to give up on serious topics and focus on something which is a bit more fun.
Many guys out there would love to talk about this things but they are not too comfortable with engaging in this conversation. They feel like they might be offending you if they talk about it. So they keep it for themselves. Also, it is a nice way to stay within a protected area. Comfort zone to talk about this very serious topics. But honestly, when you are on a date if you keep on talking about politics and just the weather and stuff it is going to be boring. Obviously, after a while you want to shift to something, which is much sexier, much more interactive, and talks about the other aspects of what you have to do with dating, with love, with relationship, with sex. These kinds of topics usually work much better in creating complexity.
So my last is, yes go for it. tease him on that, ask him very direct questions and I am sure he will eventually will open up and start talking about it a little bit more.
One topic to avoid, do not talk about too much about your ex’s or his ex’s. try to focus on things in general and so.
You take care and have a great day. Bye.
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