Hi! This is Francisco Bujan from vitalcoaching.com and I am answering questions that were posted on my channel. Now, the topic for this video is : I am confident because I know I am attractive. Okay, consciously change the topic for this video to a positive statement rather than a negative one.
The original question was “I like confidence because I think I am not attractive.” Okay, the key word here is positive thinking. It is self talk. It is really the cycle of thought that you have in your mind that can sometime put you down.
When you believe that you are not attractive. You believe that you do not have it for you that you do not have a looks or that you do not have the social statue. Show them on to your assets of what is going to attract girls or women.
Then obviously, you are not going to succeed. Why? Because you already put yourself down. If you do not like your life. If you do not like who you are. It is very hard for women to be attracted to you.
So, the first thing, the first step is really to love yourself. Not what you have. Love what you are and if you what is you have or what you are, does not attract you. If do not like it. Well, then start taking steps to change it.
If you think that it has to do with looks for instance. I mean, looks are not just the physical features, right. It is your whole appearance. It is the way you present yourself and there is always room for improvement in that level.
In top of that, you have to realize that, women are not just attracted by looks. Looks play a role of course but you know, other elements are very important as well. Like for instance, the fun that you have a good network of friends, social connections. This is a very important element as well.
The fun that you have a good career or you know, power express on that level, that you make good money for instance. This is another asset. This is another thing that adds to your dating power.
So, you have different elements, you know, your character, personality, your attitude in life, your general outlook towards existence. All that is our elements that keep adding to the features.
So, to what you have to offer into the dating world. What you have to offer in relationships and dating. So, it is very important for you to keep that in mind. So, if you do not know what your value is right now.
You can think a wide page and write down at least five things that you are really proud. Five things that you think are really great for yourself. That you think people should have appreciate and that you value in you.
Okay, take a page and write this down. This will tell you already that you have at least a few things that that work for you. That is all really great. So, what do you do, you know, if you feel that.
When you go dating, that women are not attracted to you, if its because of your looks or because the way you present yourself. Then do something about it, change it naturally.
If its because of the way you dress or the way you present yourself then go and get some a new set of growling, something that is going to make you look that you are going to enjoy it more. Wear it, that is it. That is very simple.
If your level of power or confidence is not very high right now. You can take steps for starting to start rebuilding that and I hope I do not give you, you know, thing that I said in these video. But a lot of these has to do with self talk.
You know, the way you perceive yourself. If you keep putting yourself down. Whatever you have going on for you. If you keep putting it down, eventually you are going to end up with the level of power which is very low, okay.
And these has to do with positive thinking. It has to do with self talk. The self talk is really this kind of conversation that you have in your mind, in your head which keeps reflecting on how you feel and sometimes you have a negative self talk. It means that you keep putting yourself down.
For instance, when you say girls do not like me. Girl are not attracted to me. That is self talk, right. You can change that instead of saying girls are not attracted to me. You can say well; last week, I went out and this girl rejected me or she said something that was not nice.
This is specific, right? It does not mean, when you say girls are not attracted to me. You are making such a general statement actually in terms of psychological terms. It is cognitive distortion. You are over generalizing and this is a negative self talk.
So, instead of making it general, you make it very specific and then you see, you make it positive, be specific. You say well, this specific girl was not attracted to me because I said something really funny.
So, it is a way of shifting. You see you self talk something over to you. There is more on that, of course, but that is all I can say for now. Take care and have a great day. Bye, bye.
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