Hi! This is Francisco Bujan from vtialcoaching.com. I am answering questions that were posted from my channel and the next question I am going to answer is: How to trust people? This one is coming from a woman or a girl, I do not know your age exactly. But what you are saying is I have difficulties trusting people each time.
So, my advice for this one is try to break it down. You are saying, I do not trust people. I want to trust people more rather than making it general to any situation. Try to make it more specific.
Let us take an example, for instance, if you feel that you do not trust guys within the dating scene, right; within the dating environment. Imagine that you are there and when a man comes to you or a guys comes to you. You would say something like, you know, I like you. Do you want to go out on a date with me?
And you think that there is something wrong with that. You think that maybe some form of hidden agenda, mysterious intentions, god knows well. That you do not really manage to fully trust what he is saying. If he gives you compliment, you will be mistrusting what he is saying.
So, my advice is very simple. In the situation like this one, rather than going to abandoning yourself totally in initial stages of dating relationship connection. You cannot twisted back and think, okay I am going to give this man of this guy or this situation a little bit of my investment.
I do not give myself totally. I do not trust fully. I do not go all the way to the other side. I am going to give a little try. You are going to make a step forward, volunteer for that and I am going to listen to what happen next, okay.
For instance, when he gives me a compliment. I am going to take that compliment inside and rather than abandoning myself totally to that man. I am going to take a little step, right. Imagine that you are about to cross the bridge, right. Are you going to start running all these bridge which looks maybe unstable. You now, imagine the sea in the trenches between two cliffs there, you have this hanging bridge there.
Now, what you are going to do is first take a small step, right? This is a test and you are going to take this first step and if this first step works and you take another one and so on until you cross the foot bridge, and you love being in a relationship, committed relationship with a guy eventually.
But you know, you do not have to go and trust everything at once. You can not take small steps and really test what is going on there, and of course, you give people a chance, very often you will be surprise that actually the intentions are totally positive, right. You have somebody with one who intently behind that. Who really means when he gives a compliment for instance and so there are good reasons to trust
Another thing about trust. It is a conscious decision, you know, at the end. We can live with lots of emotions, mind sets that we do not really need in our mind or in our lives. Which have just have draining energy. These emotions are emotions like fears or doubts or hesitations or presenting mistrusts. You know, all that that you clot your self and minds and slows us down when we are trying to do things in life.
So, the goal is very simple. Try to see what happens if you become super conductive to life. Really and that is the key idea. It is the idea of rather than responding negatively to life, you know, and holding back systematically. You think, what happens if I actually go with the flow. Trust it, go with it and rather than responding with fear, I become fearless, rather than having doubt I give trust, rather than having hesitation I give confidence and go ahead and take action.
So, you see that, these mind sets or represent your vehicle in life and depending on how you stand or how you decide to stand in life. You are going to get great results or fall back in terms of what happens in your existence, okay. So, with joys it is exactly the same. Trust at the end is really a choice that you make. You decide to trust people.
The first thing that you have to trust in life is yourself. I mean, trust your instincts. Trust your potential, trust yourself and if you trust yourself. You will see that it is also easier to trust others. You have, I am sure, dozens of very specific qualities that you can express in your life. You have those qualities in you, write it down and realize that, hey this is something I have to offer and so do other people. They have all to offer, okay.
I hope these makes sense. If you have any other questions, you or other people, just post in the comments to this video and I will try to answer in future videos. Take care and bye, bye.
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