I'm Attracted To Girls - How Can I Share It With My Husband?

Jennifer: Have I started something bad? Dan: So bad. I see, this is a very naughty girl. Jennifer: Dear Dan and Jennifer. I told my husband about being attracted to females. Dan: And he’s is like, “Oh, yeah! Finally.” Jennifer: He thinks it will be a real turn on to let me try it and be there watching, maybe take me afterwards. A part of me thinks that would be way fun and exciting. I want it sync though. So, I’m mainly thinking about girls who are only into girls or married girls whose husband left them play, right. I think that sounds safer. I’m a little worried thought that maybe I never should’ve said anything. He’s all excited about it now too. I feel like if I do it once, I may get it out of my system but I fear exposing my husband’s eyes to such erotic that might up anything from here on out. We have children and I wouldn’t want to jeopardize anything. You definitely opened the Pandora’s box. Dan: I’m having trouble seeing what's wrong here. I don’t know how long its been or whatever but he is currently fantasizing about her into other women, whatever. She is in his fantasies. He is so excited about her, about their sex life. Not seeing a problem. Jennifer: Well, she is afraid he may never be able to have normals, you know, to one on one sex again, right if they try this. Dan: You know, once you try that other sex position he may like to do that all the time too. But then you still move around, you know. Jennifer: Yeah, sometimes. Look, okay, what always work well for us in this kind of situation, any fantasy type that we’re exploring, if its new territory and you’ve never been there before, you know, we do like to take it one step at a time, okay. You know, talk about girls. That seems just to really be getting your husband excited. That’s great, that’s wonderful and definitely no harm, no foul in that. Dan: No foul. Jennifer: You know, maybe just meet some girls. See what its like to interact with other women, to flirt with other women. Alright, what's that like. Dan: Yeah, but that other thing she says, she wants to play it safe and thinking girls are only into girls or married girls whose husbands allowed them to play separately. Girls who are only into girls— Jennifer: Well, I think the whole thing there, I think you're definitely right with committed couples and things like that. Dan: That’s the big one. Jennifer: You know, girls are only in the girls, she may not want your husband around at all. Dan: She may not, she may want to get you for herself. Jennifer: And—no, and just from what we’ve heard and seeing and all these kinds of stuff, lesbians are probably the least likely to do what you're wanting to do. Okay, there are very— Dan: It’s a girl that wants a relationship with you. Jennifer: Not into playing the unicorn and per se, right. Dan: Look, it’s a magical unicorn, can we pet it? Jennifer: But I definitely think its safer because you know, single girls, they have no ties, you know, they may get tied to your husband, you know at least with couples, you know who’s going home with whom, okay. You come to the party, you go home. Dan: When the swinger, saying if you will, a lot of couples end up doing stuff with another couple. In that evening everybody knows who’s going home with whom. I’d give you a couple that has a real relationship. Not a couple that met two weeks ago. Jennifer: Yeah, and there’s a lot of couples out there that go and they flirt. Dan: They flirt. Jennifer: Flirt and play and dance and all this kind stuff and go their separate ways. You know, some couples get together and that’s all they do. The girls play and then they all go off, right. Dan: Some just watch. Jennifer: Yes, some just watch, some go all the way. I mean, so there’s—we all have our levels of comfort, right? Dan: So don’t do anything you're not comfortable. Jennifer: Yeah, the other thing, don’t go too far, too fast. You know, somebody on the live show the other day was like, “Go big.” And I’m like, yeah, but if you go big, you may not be able to go back because if somebody gets talked in to something or coerced into9 something they weren’t comfortable with, then they just may pull all the way back and then they won’t try anything else again. Dan: Should we talk about our new martinis? Jennifer: No, somebody will ask. Dan: Fine. Jennifer: What else? I think that’s about it—oh, yeah, on the “go big” topic, right. So many people on their fantasies, especially if it’s a really exotic fantasy, they think it’s all or nothing. You know, they want to do the whole thing or nothing at all so they end up—and they are afraid to do the whole thing, so they end up not doing anything at all. Dan: Not doing anything at all. Jennifer: So, you know, just try it. I mean, with the whole girl-girl thing, right. Step one, talk about it. Step two, maybe have drinks with the girl, right. Just go out and have drinks and go home, you know. If you meet someone that you really, really like, then you can talk about that. But I would still even get to know them before you do that, right. Dan: Think friends with benefits. I just think that’s a much better approach to this. Jennifer: Yeah, everybody’s like, “Why? I just want to do it once and then make them go away.” Dan: It just doesn’t work like that. Jennifer: Why? Dan: People are just not disposable that way. Jennifer: Yeah. Dan: If you want to avoid most of the problems that happened when—being in this type of situations, take the friends with benefits approach. Jennifer: And talk about it, right. You tried it once, you know, be honest with the other girl, I’ve never tried this before so I don’t know if I’m going to like it or not. And when you're done, you say, “Hey! That was really fun. Let’s do it together.” “Hey! You know, that was fun. Thank you for hearing me but I don’t want to do it again.” Dan: Not my thing. Jennifer: Honesty, I know.