Shalom, I am Rabbi Jonathan Ginsburg. This is the fifth in the series of my favorite Jewish jokes. The first one is bees flying around and it bumps to another bee and one bee said the other flowers I am very good this year, I am having a very hard time getting enough to eat. Other one said you should have been with me I recently was at a hotel and as I was buzzing around and I saw a party, went in there and I ate like crazy and I had a great time and I ate everything I wanted to. The other bee says to them all that is great but what is that thing in your head? Why do you have that on your head? He says well that is my Yamakah.
So why are you wearing a Yamakah? Because I do not want them to think I was a wasp. Now for anybody who does not get that, a wasp is one of the ways in which people afford to white anal sex and predestines. Sorry I have to explain that but that is the joke. Then I got two jokes about Jews and their children. Three old ladies are on Miami beech, the first one is sitting there and the first one says Oy. The second one says I will second that double Oy. The third one says Oy ve. And then the first one says you know ladies we promised we are not going to talk about the children.
Another joke three, old Jewish lady is sitting there and they are talking and one says you know I have two grand children. Can I show you pictures? She pulls out her wallet and one is a picture of a five year old the other a picture of a three year old. She says five years old the doctor, the three year olds a lawyer.
Three old Jewish ladies are sitting in Miami Beach and one is saying you know I used to be a 5 foot 5 now I am 5 foot 3. Second one says you know I use to be 5 foot 3 and now I am 5 foot 1. The third one says you know I used to be 5 foot 7 I am 5 foot 5. The guy walking by hear this conversation this is ladies may all you live to be a 4 foot10. Final joke, rabbi is walking along and a gust of wind comes and blows up his hat. And a young fellow runs a long and finds the hat and gives it back to the rabbi and the rabbi says oh son bless you for all your trouble I insist you take this 5 dollars as a payment you know for your help and go enjoy yourself. Thank you for bringing me back my hat and God bless you.
The fellows, this must be a sign from heaven, a rabbi, his hat, 5 dollars, I will go to the racetrack, I will bet it, you will never know. And then he looks on the race, the first horses and he sees that the first race there is a horse that named Estapia. two figures out. There is a hat, who knows maybe I will get lucky. There is a long shot he bets the money, that horse wins he yearns $500. he says wow, that is something. Let me try the second race, the second race was even a longer shot and this one is a horse named Stetson, so he bits on that horse and that horse wins. He wins $15000. Then he comes home at the end of the day, his father he tells him what happen and then he says what happened? He said well in the third race I bet all the money out of a hoarse with a French name for a hat and it lost the chateau. The father said you dummy, a French word for head is not Chateau is a P not a T. The fellows says said anyway it would not have done any good because some horse that won is a Japanese horse, his name is Yamakah. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed those jokes and the series in Jewish humor be well.
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