Learn About Online Relationships

Dan: Okay, long distance relationships. What this is with everybody, long distance relationship? I swear, just a few years ago. Jennifer: Read the question and then we will get to the answer. Dan: Okay, I mean not that, okay. Jennifer: Trying to keep Dan focused is an ongoing thing. Dan: Like training a puppy. Is that? Jennifer: Like training a puppy. Dan: We never grew up into the studies. Okay, from Tom, and now I know, this is a good question guys and we got some good points here. I personally want to thank, "Dear, Dan and Jennifer. Hi! I have seen some of your videos and you guys seem to give some good advice. Well, we try to. Jennifer: Oh! by the way. If you have a question for us, go to our forums, that's where we answer all of our questions these days. We just kept losing them in email but in the forums you get answer from us and from all of our experts and from our growing member base and everybody that's there who wants to help you and give you a good advice, tell you about their experience and if you don't know how to get to our forums just go to our website AskDan&Jennifer.com and there is a link at the top of this forum. Dan: Yup, see you in there. Okay, so Tom says, "Hi! I have seen some of your videos and you guys seem to give some good advice." We tried, thank you. "Maybe you can help me." We would like to. "I have been in an online relationship with a girl for three years. We are planning to meet this summer but for the last couple of weeks, we have been having problems. She has been talking to this other guy a lot online and I have asked her about it and she says that he is only a good friend." Guys love that "he is only a good friend" line. "She has cheated on me in the past." You guys have never met, sorry. "I love her and she says she loves me but I don't know what to do. She never wants to talk about it." Of course not, because you fight about it. "If you can give me some advice, I would really appreciate it." Jennifer: Okay, that isn't interesting. How can you cheat on someone you have never met? But we always talk about the concept of emotional cheating. Dan: My issue is more that, is it a real relationship. They never had physical contact. Jennifer: Yeah, how can you cheat on somebody, you don't have a real life relationship? Dan: Sure, it's just a few years ago, I was like Oh! My God, I heard Joe was daily online, he must be desperate. But, people got in with the program and realize, you know what you can like catalog shop for people and figure out who may figure profile, it's kind of like walking into a club for 300 people, all for a damn near perfect match for you. It just makes sense as far as getting to the right people quickly. But now we are seeing this, the pendulum is falling the other side, we are seeing that single people are starting to develop relationships online. Jennifer: But I can't marry online or something. Dan: It's like building these long term relationships across the country or across the world. The problem with that is that your imagination fills in all these gaps and you build in your mind the perfect person and you know almost inevitably it leads to a lot of disappointment later on. You have got to meet these people, people are animals, we need to be in contact. Jennifer: We are social creature. Okay, this maybe a global economy with all the technology and stuff. It's easy to forget that but we are still literally pack animals. We like to be with our pack, we need family, we need that support structure. Dan: I can't say it's enough, all I mean -- Jennifer: Physical contact. I mean, we need physical contact and she maybe reaching out to this other guy, looking for some kind of emotional fulfillment that she is not getting from this relationship and what she may really need is just a hug. Dan: Yeah and what that the home team, the guy in the home team is going to get that out first. And if you want to be in the home team, get off your butt and go over there. Jennifer: Yeah, I truly think that meet, okay, get together, decide if this is a real relationship in the real world, not just virtually and then set some boundaries and some guidelines, but right now I just don't really think you have even the right to ask her not to talk to anyone. Dan: Yeah, I mean she is going to need human contact, you probably need to. You know this is the kind of online dating, on my online productions you know where you meet people and then go have that coffee or something together.