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Jennifer: Hi! This question is from John in Illinois.
Dear Dan and Jennifer:
I have been going out with this girl for two months now and I really like her a lot. She also has a seven year old daughter. I just do not know if she really likes me or maybe she is liking two guys at once. We live an hour way from each other so we do not see much of each other. I asked her if maybe she likes another guy or if she does not want her heart broken, and she said it is not another guy that she just does not want to heart broken. She told me she wants to take it slow in that is what I am doing at least trying to do, but I just want to know if she really likes me or if she is just playing me.
How can I find this out?
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Jennifer: Uhm --
Dan: Ouch!
Jennifer: You know relationships are about trust. You live an hour apart and you ask here a question, she gave you her answer. So, you know you have two choices. You can believe her or not, and if you are going to make this relationship work, you need to trust her and believe that she is telling you the truth unless there are some reason why you do not think that.
Dan: Yes. That is her or you get time wondering, why does he feel that she is not being honest? There is something we are not getting there.
Jennifer: Yes. I mean, Long Distance Relationship are tough, it maybe it just an hour but that still long distance. You do not get to see each other (voice overlap)
Dan: It could be you know a thousand miles away just as well, you still do not see each. You may see each other on the weekends.
Jennifer: Yes. So I mean, when you are apart like that, it brings all kinds of insecurities and jealousies and you start wondering if what they are doing when are not there, okay? So, it is a control thing. You are not there, you cannot see what they are doing and all of a sudden, your brain starts going and starts playing this play in your head like, oh my God, she is doing all these horrible thing. What she doing when I am not there? Does she really like me -- just stop!
Dan: What I do not understand is this that what we see in so many questions of that are an hour, an hour and a half away is like a long distance relationship from somewhere that is almost that reach but just out of reach. And I guess what were comes to me, you want to be together? Good! Go be together, literally together.
A lot of people are so close together yet far enough apart that they barely ever see each other and they have a long distance relationship at close range.
Going to be together? Move together. Be there together.
Jennifer: Yes at some point--
Dan: It does not always work, but in a lot of cases--
Jennifer: At some point you will have --
Dan: You going to have home team advantage if you are next door.
Jennifer: Do you cut me off twice?
Dan: Oh.
Jennifer: Sorry. I love him but he cut me off.
At some point, you are going to have to make the decision if you really want to be together, then you are going to have to move closer. But they are maybe reasons right now why it is not possible. So until then, you have to just talk to each other, be open, honest, communicate frequently and trust each other.
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