Mel B and Samantha Haris on Talking to Teens About Sex

Mel B and Samantha Harris on Talking to Teens About Sex Lisa Masterson: It’s time for another edition of our Drs Motherhood Survival Club and we have a lot to get to so let me just start by introducing our newest members, first we have the star of the new Style reality show Mel B it’s a scary world, recording artist and mother of two Mel B. mom of two, author of the parenting book Worry Proof Dr. Cara Natterson. And weekend anchor of Entertainment Tonight having her second child in January Samantha Harris. You look phenomenal. Samantha Harris: Thank you. Lisa Masterson: You look absolutely phenomenal. That’s amazing. You all look great would you mind if I asked how far along are you? Samantha Harris: I am six months. Lisa Masterson: This is how you look if you gain the right amount of weight. You look perfect well I can talk about OB all day but first I want to talk about a controversial new show on MTV called teen mom. This is about pregnancy and mommyhood if you haven’t heard of this show you can trust me, your daughter, son or grandchild has. So let’s take a look at this. Wow this is an amazing show and it has got huge ratings and now do you watch this with your daughter? Mel B: Yeah, I'm at the point of watching with my daughter and it actually works well for me because at the end of the show she was like “Oh my God I never want to be pregnant.” It works. The baby screams all the time. Samantha Harris: It’s really I think a shame that even though it hopefully shows the reality it does glamorize at no matter how you cut it. Cara Natterson: And the other thing is their teen age brain is not thinking about long term consequential decision they're not thinking about three or four years down the road they're thinking about right here and right now and those decisions that they're making are not necessarily good ones or even next year. Mel B: It’s a popular show so people are watching it there is a certain demand for a show like that. Lisa Masterson: Yeah but people are watching a lot of shows where they can basically see the train wreck. They like to watch the train wreck happen and unfortunately that train wreck is a teen age girl. Mel B: Why are these kids having sex at 12, 13, 14 anyway? Cara Natterson: That’s a bigger question. Lisa Masterson: Well exactly. And recently our 11-year old daughter she was asked out on a date right? Mel B: Yeah well she called it a hang out but it was kind of a date. Lisa Masterson: Well I think we actually have some tape for this. Samantha Harris: I'm so scared for you and for my future as a little girl. Lisa Masterson: You know what's great is that she came to you and she talked to you about it and said why I'm meeting somebody just for something else but she was honest and open with you. Mel B: And they're friends by the way they're good friends now. I just want to make that really clear. Cara Natterson: I love it that you set a limit you went out with her and kids loves rules. They want to know that their parents are there until you get your child to the point of humiliation you really haven’t pushed those. I think it’s important to know as a parent you know that’s the right step if you feel like your child is going to the park go with them. Lisa Masterson: I think a lot of parents are afraid they're going to do something wrong. Is there anything wrong you can do as a parent in giving the sex talk or talking things-- Cara Natterson: Absolutely, the worse thing that you can do as a parent now the question is it a good thing that you can have the talk one time? Because it’s not a one time -- in practice when I talk to parents they’ll say I had the talk and then I’ll ask the kids and the kids don’t remember it because it happened one time. so this is a years long process where you have different stages of that over and over and over and as the kids get older they start getting more detail to it until at three the questions are totally different than at 11 and that’s appropriate but they won't come to you at 11 unless you start the conversation when they're young.