Hi, this is Francisco Bujan from VitalCoaching.com. We are talking about breakups for men and for women this time and the topic for this video is no contact rule, see your ex or not. This is the question that I get a lot from my clients and people who ask this question on my forums as well. It is, should I keep on seeing my ex or not and the answer is very simple.
I mean, if it hurts you, if it is painful, if it keeps you start from the past and forces you to keep on looking at her and wanting to get back together, if she abuses you or blames you when you see her, if you fight a lot, I mean all these reasons are very good reasons not to see each other too much, right?
So, the no-contact rule, absolutely no contact is something that I usually don’t force or don’t encourage at 100% but at the same time if every single time you see your ex, he sends you back into this kind of painful breakup zone then obviously, the advice is stay away from him or from her. Of course, right? So usually what the thing that I encourage most is don’t initiate contact. The best is if you can really, if you can see your ex and for a reason or another because you have to sort some stuff, you know some practical stuff for instance if she still has stuff from you or if he still has some things that belonged to you then eventually, you will have to see each other, to meet each other for a quick drink somewhere or at each other’s place.
So what I really recommend is to keep this meeting through the minimum, okay, maximum an hour. If you’re on the phone very often, its maximum is one minute. So no contact, truly something that you can navigate, you can choose for yourself what is the best option but as a general rule see each other the less possible.
Why is it important because if you don’t see each other then you will have more space to rebuild your life, rebuild a new relationship with somebody else? If your ex is in your mind a lot, you simply don’t have the mind or space, the freedom to initiate contacts with other people and so this stands to keep you stuck on the past.
So, no contact, well, that’s an option of course. That’s possibility or something that you can choose for if you can not go all the way to the contact then I will encourage you to simply keep contact to the minimum especially not initiate contact frequently. Stop text messaging or emailing or you know calling too frequently and if you really have to see each other, I would see you maybe one meeting—once in every second week maybe is the maximum or every week maybe but the idea is really to keep the number of contacts to the minimum.
So, there are a lot of more questions to answer around this idea of no contact. For instance, what if you have children together, what if you had to see each other because of work, what if you have the same circle of friends, you know where you used to be married and you leave out the same type of friendships. What if you are going through a divorce? You know all these questions are very profound questions that you might have when you are in a breakup zone or in the breakup situation and I cover them really in the breakup programs, four men and four women that are in my websites.
So if you are stuck within the breakup zone and needs strategies to break through, I really encourage you to go back to my website, VitalCoaching.com. Check the breakup for men and breakup for women programs and get them. They are the right now $19.00 per program and this includes videos, audios, e-books, articles, you know it’s a whole package, a whole comprehensive set of strategy that you would be able to apply and I really cover in that dozens and dozens of breakup situations that you will face when you are in the breakup or divorce zone.
Okay, so go back to my site, VitalCoaching.com and get them. This no contact rule is one of the topics I go in that but of course I cover all this other ranges of questions. What if you have children together? What if you have to see each other because you are divorcing? What if you still live in the same neighborhood? What if you have to meet because of work? I mean all these specific breakup challenges need you to apply a very specific strategy. If you go in this type of changes with the wrong strategy, usually, you will get wrong results. Something that might be painful so if there is a way to break through but you need to have the right set of battle tools.
So go back to my site, check all the strategies. Get the program today and it will save you lots of time and trouble. If you’re a man, it’s a VitalCoaching.com/breakupforman.htm. Break up for men is just in one word. If you’re a woman, it’s VitalCoaching.com/breakupforwoman.htm. Take care for now and I’ll see you soon again, take care. Bye-bye.
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