Parents Are Happier

Daddy Clay: I am so happy. I am Daddy Clay. Daddy Brad: I am Daddy Brad. Daddy Clay: This is DadLabs, this is the DadLab Lounge, where everyone is happy because that is today's subject. Are parents happier than non-parents? Daddy Brad: Interesting. Are you happier? Daddy Clay: I have seen some studies. There are actually people out there that feel like they can study and measure how happy a person is. Daddy Brad: Like pleasure points, like hot dogs and steaks. Daddy Clay: Yeah, and you can go and they can do interview with you and they can gauge how happy you are. Daddy Brad: Yeah. Daddy Clay: There have been some studies done. Do you think that people who are married and have children are happier than people that are single, without children? Daddy Brad: More for feels. Daddy Clay: I don't think -- how could it be -- I mean -- yeah, I guess they are definitely moments I feel like happier. Daddy Brad: Yeah. Daddy Clay: But what were the five things that made you happiest before you had kids? Daddy Brad: Getting my snack on a lot. Sleeping in after I got my snack on a lot. Listening to good music while I was getting my snack on. Oh, exercising. I liked exercising. Let's see, football games, I really like football games. Yeah, that made me really happy. How about you? Daddy Clay: How about after you left the priesthood? Sex figure in there at all? Daddy Brad: Oh, yeah, yeah, that's good too. Daddy Clay: Okay, alright. So my question is, has being a family man sort of helped or increased those avenues of happiness? Daddy Brad: Do I have more sex since I am a family man? Daddy Clay: Yeah. Daddy Brad: No dude, come on. Daddy Clay: It's terrible. I don't mean to say that. I mean statistically, on average, like the average guy, not me particularly, but like overall, large global sense. Daddy Brad: Yeah, an average American does it 85 times a year for a duration of 15 minutes. The Greeks do it 116 times a year for two hours. Daddy Clay: Really? Daddy Brad: Yeah, yeah, and they are family men too. Daddy Clay: With each other or --? I mean, is it like a solo performance? Daddy Brad: No, no, no, not a solo performance. That was a study that came out this week. That's kind of the world rankings of sex, and America finished way down the bottom. Daddy Clay: I am so changing my name to Brocolocapacalus. Daddy Brad: So back to the subject of, sure, I think parents are happier in a broader sense because they receive joy from their children, seeing them grow up, seeing them be really fulfilled and well adjusted young people. You derive happiness from that. Daddy Clay: But that's sort of this abstract, like I am so happy, but like from moment to moment, like doing the dishes and like wiping somebody's butt, and plus there is the kids, I mean -- Daddy Brad: You never did dishes before you had kids? Daddy Clay: No, I didn't. It was all disposable. But really, think about how hard you work? The sleep gets interrupted, there is no sex here. I mean there is so many more choices. It's hard, hard day, day to day. It's not like I am just like laughing, giggling my way through raising kids, I am like fighting, they bite each other, and they like hit me with things, and they mock me. Daddy Brad: But you get to eat a lot of Macaroni and Cheese. Daddy Clay: It's not fair. I am kidding, I am joking. I mean, it's not like that. Daddy Brad: No, it makes you happy. Daddy Clay: On a global, broad sense, not the individual sense. I am not talking about me. Daddy Brad: Surrender the things of youth gracefully, that's what you should do, and embracing the -- Daddy Clay: That's just a way to talk yourself into being miserable. Daddy Brad: No. Daddy Clay: It's like, you have got to give up all the fun stuff. Daddy Brad: Okay, here is the deal, here is the deal. Okay, here is the deal. Daddy Clay: So you can go to a soccer game. Daddy Brad: If a fairy came down and said, okay, here is the deal Daddy Clay, I got a deal for you. You give me your kids and you get to eat on paper plates and have sex all the time for the next 50 years. Daddy Clay: That's funny because Angelina Jolie called me last week and she is like in the market and she like saw my kids and she was like, hey, I will -- no, no, obviously. Daddy Brad: Would you trade, would you trade? Daddy Clay: I am just saying like day to day happy. Daddy Brad: All the sex. Daddy Clay: I really love my kids, my fatherhood, my kids, it's very satisfying, I wouldn't give it up. But I think that sometimes we look at single people and we think, oh well, poor them, and that must make them sort of shake their heads and go, would you look at yourself for a minute, I mean, I think it's an interesting tradeoff. Daddy Brad: You can't experience it unless you have had children. You don't know what swimming is like unless you have been in the water. You don't know what salt on corn on the cob is like until you have had it, you miss it. You could eat corn on the cob with no salt for the rest of your life and never miss it if you never had salt. Daddy Clay: Did you go to like analogy school? I mean is there -- in South Carolina, is there like an analogy training program you go through? Daddy Brain: Parenting -- Daddy Clay: Before they let you out of the state, it's like, oh, hey, you have got to be able to sit down and give five analogies. Daddy Brad: Sure, that's the way you do it. Tell stories, man, tell stories so that people can understand what you are saying. Here is another cliché. Parenting is hard work but its well worth it, because anything that's worth it is hard work. Daddy Clay:You didn't say fun, you didn't say happy, you didn't say it was jolly. Daddy Brad: Happy isn't necessarily fun. Is it fun to look at a flower? No, but it makes you feel good. Happy. Daddy Clay: This whole conversation has just depressed the crap out of me. Daddy Brad: It's okay. Well, that's it from the DadLabs Lounge. Happy parents. Daddy Clay: The hardest thing is I have got to be here with you. Daddy Brad: Does that make you happy? Daddy Clay: For the rest of the day. I wish the kids were here.