Paternity Leave: the Ultimate Family Vacation

Daddy Clay: Little free association exercise I say a word, you say word first comes to mind. Ready? Paternity. Daddy Brad: Suit. Daddy Clay: Same exactly, but we're about to change that. Daddy Brad: To what? Daddy Clay: Leave! Daddy Brad: Okay. Daddy Clay: This is what Taking Back Paternity is all of extra come in back by the way it's the what kicking back paternity is all about right we want people to think paternity leave instead of paternity suite its something we're actually kind of serious about. Daddy Brad: Today's show on the subject of paternity leave is brought to you by BabyBjorn. Which is cool because if you look at this box of the baby carrier cover. There are more dads on it than moms. Daddy Clay: Why are we so high on paternity leave thing? Well its all about the Science. Jeremy Adam Smith: It is used to thought that only mothers were responsible for the well being of children but during the past ten years we discovered that when men take leave and when they take steps be very involved fathers it provides a lot of long term benefits to children, children who's fathers take paternity leave have fewer behavioral problems they do better at school and they are healthier both physically and emotionally its also good for mothers. When father takes the paternity leave mothers tend to be happier and all so physically healthier. Daddy Brad: So we see that dad's involvement from the beginning is good for kids, but it's good for dads as well. Daddy Clay: We have seen that anecdotally time and time again dad telling us a story that the most important bonding moment the thing it really set the tone for their father hood happen in those early weeks you got to be present you got to be there for that moment to happen right daddy brad? Daddy Brad: Sure. Yeah I remember one time my wife is bright and walker was going crazy we couldn't get into quite down and I took him and little bit first time and I got him to be quite and that just all right we are going to set our relations ship from there. Daddy Clay: My oldest was a premature baby and was born by emergency c section and he was in neonatal intensive care unit, my wife had just had c section she wasn't up yet to go down scrub in, studies has shown that skin to skin contact is really important for pre mature baby so somebody had to go down there so it was me so I take rope and for the first three weeks that he was in the neonatal intensive care unit I was the kangaroo care guy and I would go down there and scrub in and take my shirt off put the baby on my chest and would do that it was like therapy and it was really good for him and it was in those moments when I had that baby on my chest you know the time role you he was just three and half pounds little guy and struggling to eat and everything else, and those first moment something click in me and I said this is me and this is what I am about in that moment I think really it set the tone of my fatherhoods. And if I had to be at work during those three woks if I wasn't I was on leave if am not able to do that and be there day in and day out how much would that. Daddy Brad: So, a little three and half pound baby is like ten feet tall and its huge some guys not really comfortable with leave for a number of reasons. Jeremy Adam Smith: The biggest reason why it men don't take paternity leave is that they don't make 13% of American companies offer it, research also shows that even when the leave is offered they won't take advantage of it because they don't want to take the pay cut that goes along with it or they are afraid that taking the leave is going to hurt their long term career prospects so men in America are not taking advantage of paternity leave because the rules are against them and they are officially discouraged from doing it. This isn't to fit their imaginations, several survey show that the majority of corporate managers believed that men should not take advantage of leave or flex time when it is offered and we know from countries like Germany or Sweden or Canada when leave is offered and when workplace cultures support the man taking the leave it will take it. Daddy Clay: One of the reasons that asking for a paternity leave there is really very little legal support for family leave in this country. Daddy Brad: And you know it take the Family Medical Leave Act guarantees either or both parents twelve weeks of unpaid leave after the berth of the child. Daddy Clay: So it means pretty much they can't fire you for three months and that's pretty well it, which doesn't seem like all that much. Other countries, Canada, Sweden, UK, where there are much better family leave benefits is there anything we can do about this? Jeremy Adam Smith: The biggest thing we can do to change things is to take the leave when it is offered especially if you are one of the bosses that will set the tone in the company help to change workplace culture and also help to change American Culture. Second thing you can do is file a complete or sue if the leave is unlawfully denied you, Men are becoming more and more successful ensuing for being denied their racist care givers and jury verdicts reaching up to $12 million finally you can write letters to the editors, you can if you look on the paper you can speak up at meetings or as a activists in your community and if you do that you will get the that will help you support the kind of father you wanted to be and it will support other fathers and families. Daddy Brad: So I guess this would be a good time to talk about my leave. Daddy Clay: This show is brought to you by BabyBjorn. Dads in mind when they design, BabyBjorn. Daddy Brad: Because I am doing this sweetest -- and I am taking the whole thing -- take it all. Daddy Clay: You just go right ahead but Daddy Brad: Eight months. Daddy Clay: Take it a pull and we want to take it much time away as you need. Daddy Brad: Who's going to replace me? Daddy Clay: We should run a contest let's with audience decided how long Brad will stay away just go dadlabs.com we have a dedicated discussion there and you say how many weeks or months or years or decades you think daddy brad should take as his paternity leave and that's what we are going to do.