Host: Where do these personalities needs come from?
Chris Wright: So, let us look at these needs here. These needs come from deep inside ourselves. They’re different from just preferences. With preferences, if you don’t get a preference met its okay, but when a core need is not met it generates a lot of tension inside, it aggravates you, it could hurt your feelings, it could make you feel insecure and so the reason for that is that, needs are connected to empty places inside myself who I am not meeting that need within myself, there’s a void there, it’s not peaceful, it’s a sense of insecurity around that need and that s what creates a pressure in my personality to fill that emptiness and that is why it becomes a need. The whole personality designed to driven to try to fill the places inside myself and I am not meeting that need within myself and I depend on the environment to fill that need.
When the needs responded to by the world or by my partner, it makes me feel secure, it fills me up, my whole bean opens up, my heart opens up, it makes me feel great inside. When the needs do not meet, I contract inside, I feel tension, I feel confused, and it makes me feel upset. So, in a relationship it is important to identify what these core needs are in each of us, so that we can attune to those needs in this relationship, these personality needs and avoid triggering them, because they are the basis of all the conflicts that we experience in our relationship.
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